Discovery
by MrsCAHSRECLHCJ
Summary: When Spencer Reid needs an escape from his grief after Emily's death, he hopes a move to Scotland will be a fresh start. When he makes friends with his neighbour, nothing can prepare him for the life changes he experiences. Then some devastating news from home and his world is turned upside down. Can his discovery of love help him to find his way? AU.
1. Chapter 1

Chapter 1

March

I was sitting at my computer when my phone rang, I reached for it and smiled when I saw Derek Morgan's name flash up on the screen.

"Hello you", I purred into the phone and giggled.

"Hey Mama, I'm back".

"Yay! How was your trip home? How's your Mum? And your sisters?"

"They're all good honey, sent me back with enough food for a year!"

"Of course we don't feed you in Scotland", I laughed imagining Mrs Morgan packing portions of peach cobbler into Derek's suitcase.

"Hey babe, I got some news".

"What? Oh you didn't get married or something when you were back in Chicago?"

"No no nothing like that, I'm joining the grown up world honey, I've bought a place of my own",

"Wow that's amazing, still in Edinburgh right?" I asked worried

"Yeah you ain't getting' rid of me that easily, it's just a little along the coast!"

"But you won't be living upstairs anymore" I said sadly

"I'll miss you too girly".

"Does Jack know?"

"Sure does, that's why I'm calling you, I've found him a new tenant, but he said I had to run it past you first since you'll be his neighbour."

"Oh Derek you've not found me some dodgy ass guy have you?"

He laughed,

"No sweet cheeks, he's straight up, nothing dodgy…well…"

"Derek….." I warned him.

"No really, his name is Dr Spencer Reid, he's a friend from back in DC, he's got a job in my department at the university and he needs a place to stay."

"Well aren't you Mr Fix it?"

"Yes Ma'am".

"Well it's fine with me, I'll catch up with Jack about the details."

"Ok hon, listen I've got to run, but dinner this weekend ok?"

"Great stuff, see you soon darling, big kiss."

I hung up smiling, but feeling sad that Derek would no longer be my upstairs neighbour.

My brother and I owned half a house each following our Grandfather's death a few years before. It had previously been one big house, divided into two homes. When Jack moved up north, his friend Derek rented his half. Both halves are spacious with amazing views onto the beach and a huge garden out the back.

We'd known Derek for years since he spent a year at our high school when he was 18. After he went back to the States we all kept in touch. Even once he made it to the FBI he was a regular part of our lives, finally coming back to Edinburgh to lecture and consult in Criminology and Forensics.

I stretched in my chair, enjoying the warm sun streaming through the conservatory windows. It was still cold outside as the last vestiges of winter hung on, but the room where I had my office was usually cosy while I worked.

Just then my computer beeped to signal new mail. I opened it up to see, REID, Spencer. Wait, wasn't that the guy that Derek just told me about? I looked at my watch, it must be the middle of the night there.

 _Dear Miss Dewar,_

 _I would like to confirm my moving into the property (listed below). I will be arriving on Saturday 17_ _th_ _with some luggage. The rest I will have shipped in advance, please advise if you are happy to sign for these packages and take them into the property on my behalf._

 _Regards_

 _Dr. Spencer Reid_

Well, he didn't sound too strange, a little formal maybe, but hopefully he'd be a polite neighbour and not too noisy. I sent back a short reply and went back to working.


	2. Chapter 2 - Spencer arrives

Chapter 2

Two weeks later, it was a dull Friday afternoon with no sign of spring and a dusting of snow on the ground. I was curled in my desk chair with a cup of coffee trying to keep warm when the front doorbell rang. I jumped when I heard it then sighed. Obviously not someone I knew because they all knew to use the back door which was actually round the side of the house and came right into the kitchen. I heaved myself out of the chair wrapping my thick cardigan further round me and pushing my glasses back up my nose. Grumbling I went to the front porch, unlocked the double glass doors and peered through the peep hole. There was a guy standing on the doorstep with several pieces of luggage looking slightly panicked. I heaved open the heavy door,

"Hi can I help you?"

Fully expecting him to be looking for one of the B&B's up the road I was surprised when he said,

"Um hi I'm Dr. Spencer Reid, are you Louise?"

"Oh! You're early I wasn't expecting you until tomorrow."

He looked uneasy and stammered nervously,

"I'm so sorry, mix up with flights, couldn't get hold of Morgan, so sorry-"

"It's fine", I laughed, "I'm just surprised that's all. Let me get the keys, two seconds."

He smiled and his worried features smoothed out.

I was back with the keys quickly and pulled on my Ugg boots as I shut the door behind me.

"Oh it's soooo cold", I shivered.

He laughed,

"I thought I was the only one supposed to feel this temperature. I'm from Las Vegas!"

"Really? You will be freezing here! And I'm born and bred in the Scottish climate."

He nodded,

"Hopefully summer won't be long."

"What summer?" I rolled my eyes.

"Well generally speaking Scotland's climate is actually quite moderate and very changeable. The Eastern part of the country from Inverness down to the Lothians, enjoys an annual rainfall that is actually similar to, or less than, New York, Barcelona, Rome or even Rabat in Morocco".

He stopped talking and I had the distinct feeling I'd just been on Wikipedia.

"Sorry", he mumbled "I tend to do that", he shifted nervously and I looked at him properly for the first time.

He was tall, slim, but athletic looking. He had longish floppy hair which was shorter at the sides, but which he kept nervously pushing back. His clothes were very teachery; grey cords, shirt and tie, but his black converse and north face jacket pulled him more into the stylish bracket.

I realised suddenly that neither of us had spoken in more than a minute and he looked more and more nervous. I got the impression he wasn't overly sociable.

"Sorry", I spluttered, "must be frozen to the spot, come on I'll help you with the luggage."

"No no", he said "it's too much to lift, I'll make a few trips."

"Don't worry Dr Reid I work out I think I can lift a few cases", I raised an eyebrow at him and when he realised I was joking, he laughed.

"Please, it's Spencer."

I nodded and led the way across the front path and up the outside stone steps.

"All your stuff that you had shipped is sitting in the living room and hall" I explained as I let us both in.

He shut the door behind him and I opened the hall cupboard.

"I'll just turn the heating up a bit now you're here."

Quickly I showed him how all the electrical stuff worked then I showed him the rooms.

"Wow this place is really something", he said

"Yeah it is great, definitely a boy pad though" I laughed.

"It's your brother's is that right?"

"Yes he lives up north and I handle the letting. Well I say that, you're the first tenant since Derek so it's only now that it's got a bit more formal."

He cleared his throat,

"You know Derek well then?"

"Oh yes he's one of Jack's best friends. Came here for a year in high school and stuck to our family ever since."

"Family…..right. So you've never been together?"

I looked at him blankly,

"Romantically I mean."

I was so surprised that I didn't quite know what to say.

"Ehm well."

He rushed to speak all of a sudden,

"That was rude, I'm sorry." He blushed and looked at the floor.

"No it's fine", I smiled, "I'd be curious too. In fact I am. Don't have coffee with me or I'll wangle your deepest darkest secrets out of you!"

He looked up at me, but still seemed to regret what he'd said.

"So, Derek and I, I was so besotted with that boy when I was 16, I used to follow him and my brother around like a puppy dog. Then when I turned 17 things changed, I grew a bit taller, got curves in all the right places, got boobs..."

Spencer made a strangled noise in his throat

"...and suddenly I wasn't Jack's little sister anymore. Just like the Katy Perry song", I laughed and he looked at me blankly.

"I'm not really one for pop music", he explained,

"Right, ok well anyway he and I thought we'd have a go at being together, it was fun sneaking around behind my brother's back, you know how it is snogging in dark corners, fumbling with bra straps?"

Spencer shifted uncomfortably,

"Anyway after about 3 weeks I realised as gorgeous as he is he would always be my big brother's mate and I broke his heart as he's fond of telling everyone!"

Spencer smiled, "yeah he likes to joke around".

I smiled in agreement.

"Anyway I'll leave you to get settled. If you need anything at all, day or night just call or text me. Both my numbers are on the fridge."

He looked like he'd rather freeze to death or drown in a flood than call me.

I touched his arm,

"Honestly, Spencer, anything you need, now you're living here you'll just be part of the family too!"

He smiled at me, and my stomach tightened. This awkward guy before me was actually very handsome and I felt pulled to him. I touched his arm again then turned away before he thought I was mad.

"Thank you", he called after me,

"You're welcome see you soon."


	3. Chapter 3 - A run

Chapter 3 – A run

When I got back inside my own house I felt like a coiled spring. I ran through our interaction from the moment I opened the door. I stared out into the garden and wondered, did I enjoy it? I worried I'd been too chatty, what would he think? Stop! I thought, he is going to be your neighbour, you'll probably never see him, get a grip. I nodded and was about to get back to working when I spotted him in the garden. He had come down the back steps and was looking around his half of the garden. I saw him take in the hot tub on my patio and raise his eyebrows. Probably wondering why we have hot tubs in Scotland! I smiled and he smiled back, that's when I realised I'd been staring right at him. Flustered, I waved and quickly turned back to my computer, forcing myself to look busy. He must have gone back upstairs because when I turned around ten minutes later I couldn't see him.

I spent the day finishing off work, answering emails, catching up with calls and tidying up. Around 5pm I thought I'd go for a run so I changed into my workout gear, slipped out the conservatory door and locked it behind me. I was just doing some prep stretches when I heard a noise behind me,

"Hi again, you ehm look very um sporty."

I stood up to find my new neighbour sitting on the bench at the bottom of the stairs drinking coffee, wrapped up in a gorgeous grey jumper. I hadn't seen him when I first came out as he was partly hidden by a small piece of shrubbery.

"Oh hi", I replied flustered, "I'm just going for a run."

"Right you said you work out, I thought maybe you did weight training."

"I do a bit yes, but I run, do yoga and Pilates as well. What about you do you play sports?"

He looked astonished that I'd ask that,

"Um no, not one for sports, team or otherwise. Can't catch a ball or hit one or score anything really."

He looked a bit dejected at this,

"Oh me neither", I said, he brightened a little. "Hate playing sports but I love keeping fit", I continued.

"I go to the gym" he said, "I like that it's quiet, I can listen to my music, I don't have to speak to anyone."

He really did seem to be quite a loner and yet he was such good friends with Derek who is so outgoing and confident, the two didn't seem to match up.

"There are some really good gyms round here if you need a recommendation."

He nodded eagerly, "that would be great actually".

"Ok", I said," I'll let you know. I'm off now, bye".

"Oh", he said, he seemed reluctant to let me go but I brushed that thought away. He just moved in he must have 100 things to do.

I let myself out the back gate onto the promenade, stuck my headphones in and set off along the beach. 


	4. Chapter 4 - Thinking in the shower

Chapter 4

40 mins later I returned, dripping in sweat and feeling great. I really needed a shower. As I walked back up the garden I saw Spencer at the kitchen window and I waved. He really did seem like a lost soul. He had a sadness about him, but a warmth too. I shook my head, this was typical of me over analysing everyone I meet before I even know them.

I picked up my phone and called Derek, he picked up after two rings,

"Hey Mama, how's my girl?"

"Hey love I'm good thanks, your package arrived today from America."

"What?"

I laughed, "your friend Dr Reid, he arrived a day early".

"Damn it I wanted to be there when he arrived so I could introduce the two of you, put him at ease."

"I'm not that scary am I?"

"No honey you're not", he sighed, "boy genius just has a tough time making friends".

"Yeah I got that vibe from him, wait why do you call him that?"

"Cos he is a boy genius. He finished high school at 12, finished college at 14, finished grad school by 16. The bureau recruited him by 20. He is like a walking encyclopaedia. 5 degrees and counting…..oh and he has an idetik memory."

"Bloody hell!", I exclaimed, "some things are starting to make sense now".

"Yep thought they might."

"Hang on, bureau as in Federal Bureau? He's FBI? You never said that's how you knew him. He's not exactly crime fighting agent type is he?"

"With his mind he is, the unit will be lost without him."

"Why'd he leave then? If he's so good at his job and the weather in DC is a hell of a lot better than here."

"It's complicated honey, one of his team, our team, I worked with her too, her name was Emily, she died. Spencer was crazy in love with her."

"Oh my God, his girlfriend died?!"

"No no they weren't together, unrequited love you might say, but they were the best of friends. He couldn't stay there without her. He's always lectured, written, been published and when the lecturing research post came up in Edinburgh he figured it was the best time to get away."

I digested all that info.

"Right", I said slowly, "that's why he seems so sad".

"Yep afraid so".

"Are you free tonight can you come down and help him get settled?"

"No can do Mama, it's Friday night, got a hot date!"

"Derek! You're the only person he knows here!"

"No I'm not, he knows you now too."

"Ha ha, what am I going to do, invite him down for pizza?!" I laughed down the phone.

"Why not?"

"Because", I spluttered, "he'll think I'm some creepy stalker neighbour!"

"No he won't, I know how the kid works, he doesn't reach out to anybody, but he needs friends right now."

"If I do this, is he likely to turn into an axe murderer and chop me into bits? My mum would want me to check", I said for clarity.

"No he's been screened by the bureau and as a profiler he's more likely to be analysing you for psycho tendencies."

I laughed, "ok I'll go talk to him, but only if you promise to come round tomorrow."

"Of course I'll be there as planned."

"Thank you love, have fun and ehm Derek?"

"Yes Mama?"

"Use a condom!"

He cracked up laughing on the other end of the phone as I hung up.

I thought about what Derek said, should I go and make friends with Spencer Reid? Maybe he wanted to be by himself, he certainly seemed to have a lot to think about.

I stripped off my running clothes and stepped into the shower. The hot water felt amazing and I stood for a few moments letting my skin warm up. I washed my hair and my body, but was too comfy to get out right then. I sat down on the floor of the shower, knees drawn up, letting the water run over me. This was a place I loved to sit; no distractions, nothing to do, but sit and think. My mind returned to the mysterious Dr Reid. He had lovely hands, long slender fingers, neat manicured nails, strong handshake. Imagine those fingers….. My eyes flew open, I can't think like this! I was aware that he was walking around on the floor above me, if he knew what would he think? I wondered if he was one of these guys, nervously silent in daily life, but strong and commanding in the bedroom. I imagined him opening the door for me then wordlessly carrying me to his bed.

I laughed as I finished up in the shower. It's a good job he's not psychic as well as a genius. I was a bit worried he'd be able to read me like a book being a profiler, but I thought it highly unlikely that he'd know I'd been thinking of him while I was in the shower! I laughed again. 


	5. Chapter 5 - Having dinner

Chapter 5

30 mins later I was taking deep breaths by my back door trying to decide if I was about to make a complete fool of myself.

"Right", I said out loud, I went out the door, along the drive, up the steps and knocked on the door before I could change my mind.

He answered quickly with a pile of books in his hand.

"Hi", he said sounding surprised.

"Hi again, sorry I hope I'm not disturbing you. Here,"

I held out the list of gyms I'd promised him with all the info I knew about them.

"Thank you that's a great help."

We stood and stared at each other for a bit.

"Sorry", I said "this might sound mad, but Derek had planned to help you unpack and settle in tomorrow, but since you're here now and he's out", I rolled my eyes," I wondered if you had any plans for dinner? I was just going to order in, but you're welcome to join me if you like, I know cooking will be the last thing on your mind, you know with, the unpacking",

I nodded towards the books in his hand.

He seemed at a total loss for words and I realised he was trying to work out how to get rid of me without being rude.

I quickly spoke,

"Don't feel you have to, goodness you must think I'm so forward, sorry I was just thinking how I'd feel in a new country where I didn't know anyone but I'm sorry you need your space I'll leave you to it. Goodnight."

I was halfway down the stairs before he said,

"No please, that would be…..nice, yeah I do need to eat, um thanks. Only...would you mind if we ate here? I have to get these books unpacked, I start my new job on Monday."

"Sure" I nodded, "let me grab some menus and I'll be right back". I smiled, relieved that he was surprised by my kindness but didn't seem put off too much.

I returned in a few mins with some menus and a bottle of wine. He took the brightly coloured leaflets from me, but eyed the wine suspiciously.

"I don't really drink", he said.

"Oh I'm sorry that's fine I just brought it up, kind of housewarming gift but no problem."

He looked at me as if he wanted to say something, but couldn't find the words.

"What do you fancy then? Italian? Chinese?"

"Italian sounds good he said, I can't use chopsticks!"

"Oh me neither I just use a fork! Italian is my favourite though so let's go for that."

I ordered the food while he cleared a space on the kitchen table. Everywhere I looked there seemed to be books.

"Wow this is like I've died and gone to heaven", I said lifting up some of the volumes and leafing through them.

He looked up from a box over by the kitchen sofa,

"You like to read?"

"Like?" I laughed! "That's like saying Hussein bolt likes to run!" I wondered if he'd get that reference but he smiled, obviously waiting for me to continue,

"I love books, my under graduate degree was in English lit, I have a masters in comparative literature as well. And of course there's the shop."

He looked confused.

"Didn't Derek tell you what I do?"

He shook his head,

"What do you boys talk about?!", I laughed. 

"I own a bookshop, in town, it was my grandfather's he loved books too, that's how I got into literature. When he died I took over the business. I write too, just bits and pieces". 

Suddenly it was like someone had flicked a switch on Spencer. He walked over to me, cheeks slightly flushed,  
"You…..you write? You own a book store, you read?" 

I nodded, "yes is that a surprise?" 

"You just seem…..too…..um…..well you're very…..cool." He finished his sentence leaving that word hanging in the air. 

"Cool? Thank you, I think eh I'm not sure what you mean though." 

"Uh nothing, sorry no offence, what's your favourite book?" he asked quickly. 

"Well it's hard to choose, but I have a couple. Pride and Prejudice is the ultimate, but I love Scottish

Fiction like the Crow Road." 

"Iain Banks", he said 

"Yes, I'm impressed Dr Reid!" 

He stood a little taller and grinned at my compliment. 

"What about you? What's your favourite?" 

"Oh no I couldn't choose!" 

"Come on Spencer, the library is burning you can only save one book...tick tock" I teased. 

"I guess anything by Arthur Conan Doyle" he said happily. 

"He studied here you know, in Edinburgh, there's a pub named after him in town." 

He nodded at my little bit of trivia, 

"I did my research before I moved here." 

I was suddenly curious, 

"Derek tells me you have an idetik memory?" 

"What else did he tell you?" He asked sharply, 

"Not much" I said gently, wishing I'd never brought it up. 

"Did he tell you about Emily?" 

"Um yes he did, sorry we weren't gossiping, I just hadn't realised you worked for the FBI, I wondered why you would leave a job like that to come here. Derek explained. I'm so sorry to hear about your friend, I know it must be awful." 

He looked at me seriously. 

"Is that why you're here? Pity? Cos I do just fine on my own, I've been doing it my whole life I don't need to be looked after like some kid!" 

"No I no that's not it!" I exclaimed." I thought you could use a friend. We're neighbours, you're living in my brother's house, you only moved in today and I've spoken to you more than my other neighbours in the last month. I just want to be your friend." 

It sounded so lame, but he seemed to relax a little. The doorbell rang announcing the food and the tension faded away. 

We ate and talked and talked and really talked. It felt like I'd known him for years. We emptied all his boxes and got him fairly well organised before I flopped onto the kitchen sofa exclaiming exhaustion. 

"Would you like me to open the wine you brought", he asked shyly. 

I looked at him with a small smile, 

"Not if it makes you uncomfortable." 

I still didn't know what his deal was with alcohol I didn't want to presume anything. 

"It's fine" he nodded, almost to himself. 

He handed me the glass and sat on the armchair by the patio door. 

We'd talked all night about books, films, our childhoods, our families, nothing seemed off limits. A comfortable silence hung in the air as I sipped the wine he'd given me. 

"I was an addict, I suppose the programme would say I still am, but I've been clean for 3 years."

My eyes widened at this, but I said nothing.

"It was pain meds. Emily helped me, the whole team did actually. I just try and stay away from stimulants in any form now", he indicated my glass. 

"Thank you for telling me. And congratulations on staying clean." 

He was looking at me intently and my stomach flipped again, I was so attracted to him. Everything about him just fit, even his outrageous quirks which I was fast discovering. 

"Why are you smiling?" he enquired. 

I covered my mouth, "um I was just thinking how lovely it's been getting to know you. I've really enjoyed myself." 

"Well thanks the feeling is mutual. We should do it again sometime." 

"What? Unpack all your wordly goods? I don't think my back could take it!", I laughed, but he looked crushed.

"Spencer I'm kidding we will definitely have dinner again and talk for hours!" 

He smiled and drew his knees up over the arm of the chair. Oh to be sitting in that lap….oh dear. 

"Actually I'm having a small gathering in a couple of weeks for my birthday. It's just downstairs, but bring shorts cos the hot tub will be on." 

"Are you inviting me?"

"Yes of course, you'll meet some other mad Scots and Derek will be there. Probably with yet another date. That man is biggest slut going!"

He laughed heartily in agreement. Then he yawned.

"I think I should go, you must be tired, I know I am and I don't have the time difference to deal with."

"Yeah I am pretty tired" he said.

He walked me to the door pressing half a dozen books into my arms as we went, promising me that I needed to read them. At the top step I turned and gave him a hug. He stiffened at first, but then returned my affection. I wished I could kiss him, but he hadn't given me any indication he was interested and I couldn't risk our new friendship. 


	6. Chapter 6 - Birthday Party

AN – I am completely new to this although I've had this story floating around my computer since 2013. I've been inspired (by some amazing FF's) to take the plunge and upload. I have no idea if anybody will read and/or like it so any reviews/feedback would be much appreciated. This is very AU and as a UK resident, I admit I don't really know much about how things are done in the states other than what's on TV, in books etc. So apologies if I am way off the mark with any details. (PS the reference to The Velveteen Rabbit is a personal one though I realise Paget Brewster's character in Friends also receives this for her birthday.)

Thank you

Chapter 6

The weeks carried on as if Spencer had always been in my life and as if I wasn't falling for the tortured American genius living upstairs from me. We spoke most days and he even popped into the shop one day to see what I'd spoken about. We spent a lovely hour sitting in the shop armchairs, drinking coffee and discussing our favourite book shops. I reminded him a few Thursdays later when we were both getting out of our cars that my birthday do was the following night. He looked uncomfortable before reciting what sounded like a well-rehearsed speech.

"Thank you for inviting me, I hope it goes well, but unfortunately I won't be able to make it, I have a work commitment tomorrow evening."

"Oh that's a shame, well if you change your mind you know where we'll be." I said hopefully.

I didn't want to push it after what Derek had told me and from the chats I'd had with Spencer I knew he wasn't comfortable with large social gatherings. I was a bit gutted though, I'd hoped seeing me in my bikini might have piqued his interest a little. This attraction to him was starting to drive me crazy, but I figured a mild flirtation wouldn't hurt. 

The party was great fun anyway with lots of my friends in attendance. Derek didn't bring a date, instead he brought Penelope Garcia the tech support in their department as well as a lecturer in computer security (something I've never been able to pin her down about) with whom I've become quite good friends with as well. She's mad as a hatter, from the Outer Hebrides and has the most fabulous accent ever. I could listen to her all day! She's bright, feisty and an eccentric dresser to say the least. I think there is some bond between her and Derek, but he's not ready to be tamed yet!

"It's a shame Spencer had to work" I said while I was sitting in the hot tub with Derek.

He looked sceptical, "I think he chose to work cos all this", he waved his hand to indicate the guests, "it's just too much for him just now".

I nodded. Just then a chorus of happy birthday rang out from the conservatory door as Penelope helped my other friend Jo to bring out a bright pink cake with 31 candles on.

"Happy birthday sweetie" said Derek as he kissed my cheek, "make a wish". I blew out all the candles and wished for something I really really wanted...

-  
A couple of hours later people began putting their coats on over the robes they wore for warmth after the hot tub and started to head home.

Once the last guest had gone I looked up into the gorgeous navy blue sky and decided I'd have one last dip. I poured myself a glass of champagne and climbed into the warm bubbling water. Resting my head back I enjoyed the rhythm of the vibrations through my body and I closed my eyes in complete relaxation.

"Hey."

A voice startled me and I jumped, spilling some champagne over my hand.

"Oh my God you scared the shit out of me!" I exclaimed as Spencer stood at the gate between our driveway and garden.

"Sorry" he said, "I didn't think you'd still be up. Party over?"

"Yeah thought I'd just enjoy some peace before bed."

"Sorry" he said again, "I just wanted to give you this".

He held out a gift bag to me as he walked round the edge of the tub.

"Give me a minute" I said, "could you pass my robe please?"

His eyes widened as I stood up to get out. It thrilled me to see him take in every aspect of my body. The red polka dot bikini fitted me very well having been sized for cup size as well as dress size. It comprised a strapless top with frills across the top edge of the bust and boy shorts with a frill down the middle.

Spencer reached for my robe off the garden chair then dropped it twice before managing to hold it steady for me to put on.

I took the gift, "come in" I said, "there's cake".

"I don't want to impose" he said hesitantly.

"You're not, you brought a gift, you get cake, that's a fair exchange!"

I reached into the bag, and peeked away the tissue paper. Inside was nestled a first edition of The Velveteen Rabbit, my favourite book as a child.

"Oh Spencer" I breathed "it's beautiful".

"I remember you saying your Grandfather would read it to you."

I nodded, tears collecting in my eyes at the memory and at the sheer thoughtfulness and kindness of this man in front of me.

I wiped the tears away and he sounded panicked

"I um didn't mean to upset you I'm –"

I threw my arms round him, "you didn't, it is the loveliest gift thank you".

I pulled back and smiled before kissing him on the cheek.

"Cake!" I said to stop myself going crazy and trying to kiss him properly.

He graciously accepted a slice as I cut another one for myself.

"My third tonight" I admitted. "I'll need to run extra this weekend."

"No not at all you look fantastic…..that…..um"

I blushed at his compliment as did he when he realised what he'd said and that I'd caught him looking at the red bikini poking out the top of my robe.

"Thank you that's very kind. Do want a shot in the hot tub?" I asked him, feeling emboldened by the alcohol, cake and his general proximity to me.

"No! No it's late."

I shrugged," I'm going back in, why don't you join me?" I knew I was playing with fire but hell it was my birthday why shouldn't I have a little fun? "Have you ever been in a hot tub?" I teased.

"Well no, but-"

"Then you have to try it, come on, go get your swim shorts and I'll see you in there."

I walked back outside hoping he'd join me. I heard him go up the back stairs but I was truly shocked when he appeared 5 mins later in a terry cloth robe looking terrified and excited all at the same time.

He shivered, "it's cold", he said.

"Not in here it's not" I assured him. Ok I knew I was flirting now.

He shrugged off his robe and I couldn't stop staring at his body. He was pale with a very fine covering of hair. Sinewy and toned with pecs and abs that you could lose your tongue in. I sighed and a little moan escaped my lips, horrified I tried to cover it up by humming and drinking some champagne at the same time.

He slid in beside me but our bodies didn't touch. He rested his arms round the edge and I fought the urge to hold his hand.

"This is nice" he agreed as he visibly relaxed.

I nodded. Yes it is, I thought. 


	7. Chapter 7 - Spencer's view

Chapter 7

 **AN – Now it's time to see what Spencer thinks of his new living situation.**

 _ **Spencer's POV**_

Spencer Reid was unsure what was happening to him. It was like he had fast forwarded through months of his life and suddenly woken up on the other side of the world.

When JJ had walked into the hospital waiting room, he knew from her face that it was bad news. He couldn't take it in though. Emily dead? His first instinct had been to run, he didn't know where, but he didn't feel like he could stay there any longer, looking at the members of his team trying to digest the loss of their colleague, of their friend, a member of their BAU family, but JJ caught him, pulling him to her to comfort him. "I never got a chance to say goodbye". This thought tormented him on a daily, sometimes hourly basis.

He tried to keep going with things as they were. He managed a few more cases, but after turning up at JJ's house in tears for weeks on end he realised something had to change. He took some time off over the holidays to visit his Mom and while he was there, started to consider whether working in the BAU was the best thing for him. He'd been through so much; some of the worst things that could happen to a person, but he'd also had some of the best times in his life. For the first time, he fitted in somewhere, he had friends that he could work with, socialise with, depend on. Suddenly his weirdness didn't matter. They didn't care how old he was or when he finished college. They laughed at his encyclopaedia knowledge, but in a gentle teasing way, not to be mean or hurtful. And he had Emily. He loved her so much, but he was pretty sure nobody knew he was in love with her apart from Morgan who alternated encouraging him to tell her and torturing him with jokes about work place romances. He had no idea how to go about actually acting on his feelings so he made do with openly being a great friend and adoring her secretly so as not to ruin what they had. He thought deep down that one day he'd work it out, find the courage and the words to tell her how he felt, but then she died and that day was never going to come. He had never considered leaving his job. He was part of the fabric of the team, it was woven into his life, his being, but all of a sudden the thought that he should try something else, somewhere else would not leave him alone. He started feeling cravings he hadn't felt in a long time, a darkness creeping in that had him finding his nearest meeting most days.

He didn't believe in fate or destiny, but the day he sat with his Mom, reading to her and dreading having to go back to his daily life really made him doubt that lack of belief. He'd been to a meeting in the morning and arrived in time to have lunch with Diana. Afterwards, they'd settled on a comfy sofa and set about a familiar routine of reading aloud to each other, occasionally stopping to discuss the material. It was in those moments that Spencer found it hard to accept his Mom's condition, when she could still hold her own in a literary debate. This day though, he was the one who was distracted. She leant over, placing a hand on her only child's cheek,

"Spencer, my darling, you seem troubled."

He smiled weakly, "It's nothing for you to worry about Mom." It was important she stay calm and he didn't want to upset that for her.

"Tell me Spencer, maybe I can help."

She did seem quite lucid and calm in that moment so he took a deep breath and confided in his Mother,

"Do you remember I told you about my friend at work who died?"

Diana nodded and he continued,

"It's just made me question everything. I don't know if I can go back to my job without her there, I don't even know if I want to do it anymore. I know I have to though so I'm feeling sad at the prospect."

"Why do you have to?" she asked. It was such a blunt question that Spencer couldn't think what to say to begin with,

"Um...well...it's my job...they need me..." He tailed off feeling hopeless once more.

"And what do you need Spencer?" His Mom asked with a knowing smile.

There it was, the permission he needed to examine what he was actually doing.

Later that night, he was checking his emails back at his hotel when he saw one from Derek about a job opportunity. Derek had left the BAU about a year before, finding himself at a point where he was no longer happy "chasing the bad guys" as he'd put it. By the time he left he was jaded by what he'd experienced and looking for a new direction. He had found a lifeline returning to Edinburgh with friends from his past. Spencer missed him desperately, but they spoke at least twice a week, skyping if possible. Derek hoped Spencer could find the kind of peace he had though the grief was still raw. When the faculty began discussing the idea of adding to the staff with someone with a very specific skill set, Derek knew he had to try and get Spencer to take the job. He emailed him straight away and hoped against hope he'd take the opportunity. And he did.

From the moment Spencer read the email to the moment he stepped off the plane at Edinburgh Airport, was a blur. He felt like he was doing the right thing, he had to try something new, but he didn't know if this was the right place, the right time.

Then he met Louise and her warmth reached into him, touching the dark places which had long remained cold, undisturbed, unexplored. When she touched his arm and said he would be part of the family, he didn't know how to react, but the feeling of her hugging him made his heart soar and for the first time in weeks he felt a small chink of light break through his darkness.

He tried to ignore the fact that he was incredibly attracted to her and focus on her kindness and company. She was the most open person he'd ever met, smiling and joyful, telling him what she thought and felt with no agenda or expectations. From that first night when she helped him unpack he felt an ease he'd rarely experienced with anyone, let alone someone he barely knew. They talked so much that night, but he made sure to keep the info about his Mom and past experiences of his job very vague. He wasn't ready to lay that bare, who knew if he ever would be. This was a fresh start after all, no point in raking over the bad stuff he was trying to escape from. He was able to tell her why he didn't drink and felt relieved when she not only accepted his explanation, but didn't push him on it. He was blown away when she told him what she did and the fact that she seemed to share his deep love of books, his resolve to not get emotionally attached to anyone in this new city, weakening by the minute. When she got up to go he felt something akin to panic that she was leaving, but he covered it by admitting he was tired. He gave her some books to read as she left, partly because he knew she'd like them and partly because it would be another excuse to see her when she returned them. He desperately wanted to kiss her, but when he looked into her eyes all he could think about was Emily and how he was being unfaithful to her memory and the love he'd felt for her so he watched as Louise walked down the stairs leaving him feeling simultaneously elated and lost by what had just happened.

As the weeks went by he saw Louise much more than you would normally see a neighbour, but this was more by design than chance as he found himself watching her from the window, memorising her daily movements which was much more difficult than he thought. She seemed to have a very fluid work schedule. It wasn't until he realised that constantly watching your neighbour could be a red flag when profiling an unsub that he reigned himself in. He had thought a lot about going to her birthday party, but it just felt too soon to jump into a new social circle. He had chosen her gift quickly after she told him about the book, but he was unsure how he would give it to her. In the end he hung back at work until he thought the party would be over. He'd planned to leave it at the back door, but when he came up the path, the lights and hot tub were still on. He stood for a few minutes watching her in the water. She looked so relaxed and he felt a calm reaching him. The next ten minutes were a blur, but standing out in his mind was how she looked when she stood out of the water. He tried not to make it obvious that he was staring at her. She looked breathtaking, completely unaware of her beauty while exuding a confidence in her body which she clearly worked hard to maintain.

She'd suggested he join her in the hot tub and while he refused to begin with, he sensed a palpable shift in her interaction with him. He was inexperienced, but not stupid. She was flirting and it thrilled him more than he thought possible. And was the reason for him standing in his bedroom in his swim shorts trying to get up the courage to step out onto the balcony and go downstairs. He rarely let anyone see him without a good amount of clothes on, the incident from high school still playing through his mind. His classmates had left him all night and his Mom hadn't even realised. It took a lot of therapy and many late nights with Morgan trying to boost his confidence before he could even go to the gym in shorts and t-shirt. Was he really going to strip off in front of the smoking hot (Morgan's term) girl downstairs with whom he was in danger of being obsessed?

Yes he was, new start, new approach. Time to move.


	8. Chapter 8 - Water

**Here is the next chapter, I've been sitting on it for a few weeks as I really didn't want to mess up this particular scene. However, it's niggling me to be put up so I've actually split it into 2. Please read and review as this is my first FF and I don't know how I'm doing. I'm heartened by the fact that people are following it and that's given me such a boost, but it would be good to know if I'm doing the right thing or not. Many many thanks for reading :)**

Chapter 8

There they sat, in the water, in the darkness of the night, brightened by the streetlights nearby as well as a few stars.

A comfortable yet electric silence hung between them broken occasionally by the odd remark about the weather that night, the sound of the sea or the water temperature. Inside, Louise felt electrified. She desperately wanted to touch Spencer, to experience his skin on hers, to explore, to feel.

She lowered herself further into the water so that it went up over her shoulders. She laid her head back on the moulded headrest and closed her eyes, breathing deeply to stop her self doing anything impulsive and scaring off this amazing guy sitting by her. She couldn't read him at all. Sometimes, she felt there was something sparking between them, but mostly she thought this attraction was one sided and in her own head.

"Breathe" she thought, "friend, he's your friend, calm d-"

Suddenly she felt his hand brush hers under the water, the slightest of touches which could have been accidental so she didn't react to begin with. What if it wasn't an accident though?

She shifted her hand along the submerged seat, just a few cms and made contact with Spencer's hand lying palm down, pressing into the plastic. The sides of their two hands, her right, his left stayed there for a moment then he moved. He lifted his pinky onto hers as she began to turn her whole hand. Their fingers brushed lightly in the water, creating tiny ripples through the liquid, sending energy to each other. They continued their playful touch for a minute or so, fingers entwining slightly then palms sliding together. She moved the back of her hand into his palm and he stroked her palm with his thumb. His touch was simple yet so erotic, she was so turned on, her breathing was heavy and she desperately wanted to let him know how much she wanted him. After a few more minutes, she turned her head towards him, her eyes still closed. She felt him grasp her hand tightly this time, their fingers coming together in a union. She opened her eyes, looked at him looking down at her,

"Hey" she said softly, smiling shyly. She lifted their joined hands out of the water and kissed the back of his, never breaking eye contact with him and hoping this was going somewhere, to the very place she needed him.


	9. Chapter 9 - The Kiss

**AN: Sorry for the delay, real life getting in the way and a crisis of confidence in this. I've forced myself to sit down this morning and just get it out. I haven't rated it M because I don't think it's that smutty especially compared to what I plan to write in later chapters for them, but it is a bit more grown up so proceed with caution if you don't like that sort of stuff. Please R &R, I'd be so grateful. Thank you, MrsC.**

Spencer looked down at her, watching as her breathing increased when their hands entwined under the water. Then she opened her eyes, locked them onto his and kissed their joined hands. The feeling of her lips on his skin, even though it was just his hand, gave him the push he needed to take this further with her.

He tugged on her hand, gently pulling her towards him. She moved slowly through the water, inching closer until they were nose to nose, still looking into each others eyes. She smiled shyly and looked down, breaking the intense contact. Spencer tipped her chin back up with his index finger and she gasped at his touch. She moved to close the small gap between them, placing her lips softly against his before pulling away a fraction to look at him again. His eyes were dark and a look of want clung to his features as he took her face in his hands.

"Spencer", Louise breathed and he was undone. He kissed her deeply, holding her head as she wound her arms round his neck.

They alternated soft short kisses with longer deeper ones and then she swept her tongue into his mouth, gently tasting his lips. He joined her as his tongue met hers, gently stroking, probing, retreating as their kisses became harder and more frantic. Although she was still sitting to the side of him, she'd twisted her body so their chests were now pressed together. That feeling was incredible for both of them. The closeness for Louise as well as the stimulation of some of her most sensitive parts, and for Spencer the feeling of her against his bare skin. Only a small piece of wet material separated her nipples from his chest and he could feel how they were reacting to him kissing her like this, it thrilled him and he couldn't help his own very obvious reaction to that. Luckily that was still under the water! He broke away from her lips and she moaned at the loss of him, but he set up a trail of kisses from her lips, across her cheeks, down her neck and across her shoulder while he stroked his fingers lightly along her arms. She tipped her head back, revelling in the sensual overload she was experiencing, moaning with each new touch she felt. Her own hands grasped at his shoulders then fisted in his hair, pulling him tighter to her. They were both breathing heavily when he found her mouth again. He moved his right hand down to her left thigh, hitching it up so her leg was flung over his lap then lifted her by the waist to bring her over to straddle him. She kept her weight on her knees though, sitting off his lap and pressing her fore head to his.

"Spencer", she gasped, "I want you, but I think if I sit down here", she reached between them and he threw his head back, groaning, "we are both going to lose control and I don't think we should move so fast".

This time she cradled his face and kissed him deeply again then more softly trying to reassure him when his face showed a range of emotions she couldn't quite figure out.

"I – I'm sorry, I didn't mean to, of course…." he broke off, looking embarrassed and went to move away from under her.

"Hey", she stopped him with a hand on his chest, "listen to me. I don't want you to go, in fact it's taking a LOT of self-control not to just carry on, but I would like to get to know you better," she shrugged, "you know maybe go on a date?"

He looked at her in panic, a date? He didn't date, where would they go, what would they talk about? He didn't say anything so she slipped to his side again, pulling him into a hug and kissing along his jaw until her lips were level with his ear,

"I um really like you, but there's no pressure. Thank you for tonight, it was amazing."

With that, she kissed him one last time, stood up and got out of the water. As she put her robe back on she tried to control the crushing disappointment she felt that he hadn't seemed keen to agree to a date. Maybe she'd got him all wrong, maybe he was just some idiot who wanted to sleep with her with no feelings or commitment involved. No thank you, that's not how she did things. She was just beginning to put her mental armour on when he moved to the edge nearest her and caught her hand. He kissed it three times, looking up at her and smiling uncertainly,

"Dinner tomorrow night?", he asked shyly.

She broke into a wide grin and let out the breath she didn't realise she'd been holding,

"Yes that would be lovely, thank you, I'll text you during the day."

He nodded and thanked the universe when she kissed him on the cheek before going into her house with a quiet,

"Goodnight Spencer….."

They were both aware of the effect their kissing session had had on him, but she didn't want to make it awkward by averting her eyes from the obvious if he got out of the water while she was standing there. He waited until he knew she was no longer in the conservatory before he stood up to grab his own robe. He went upstairs in a daze, every sense heightened. It was the single most erotic yet romantic experience of his life. He felt such a connection to her and his body ached for hers. He smirked thinking back to how his kiss with Lyla was also in water and as much as he had enjoyed it, he was weighted down with guilt, responsibility and fear for her safety. They'd kept in touch, but that fizzled out when she got a boyfriend and he fell in love with Emily. He stopped in his tracks, wow he hadn't thought about her once and the familiar feeling of guilt wasn't there. Maybe he was moving on, just a little. He took a hot shower before bed, "taking care" of himself while he played the night over in his mind. Releasing himself when he thought of Louise's lips and the feeling of her pressed up against his chest. Little did he know that in the room directly below him, his neighbour was doing exactly the same, afterwards drifting into a slumber full of dreams where she didn't stop him from taking her in the hot tub…..


	10. Chapter 10 - The Date

A/N: Thank you for sticking with this story, I know that it's very AU. Please R&R, please please please! Thank you!

Chapter 10 – The Date

Louise awoke on Saturday morning, vaguely aware that something important had happened, but the fog of sleep hung in her brain making it difficult to remember why she was excited. Then memories of the previous night came flooding back and she rolled onto her side, hugging her pillow and squeezing her thighs together as she remembered Spencer's hands and mouth on her. After she had watched the rerun in her mind a few times, she figured there was no going back to sleep so she got up, dressed quickly and headed out to her Saturday morning yoga class nearby.

Spencer was lying awake worrying about the prospect of his first proper date when he heard Louise's back door. He jumped out of bed and peered out of the curtains, watching as she walked down the garden path, yoga mat slung over her shoulder, water bottle in hand. God she was so sexy, he wanted her, but would she want him once she knew? He threw himself back on his bed cursing his lack of experience and unwillingness to speak to Morgan who would likely have been the most help in this situation. His phone buzzed on the bedside table, a text;

 _Hi Spencer, hope you're having a good day so far. I know we said dinner, but how about lunch?_ _I'm going to yoga this morning, but I could be ready for 1pm?_ _Xx_

She must have been texting while she was walking. He felt his stomach tense. Lunch was even sooner, but then he supposed it meant less time to fret and worry and everything always seemed better in the daylight. Dinner was in the evening, in the dark, more pressure. He took a deep breath and replied,

 _Hi Louise, lunch sounds good._ _I'll come down to meet you at 1._ _Enjoy your class. X_

He toyed with how many kisses to put and decided on one.

 **1.00 p.m.**

Louise was feeling quite stressed about what to wear, where to go for lunch and how it was going to be seeing Spencer after last night. In the end she settled on a printed dress, leggings, ballet flats and a cardie for warmth. She wore her hair loose in light waves and kept her make up natural. That way when (if) they went for dinner she could make herself look more dramatic and striking.

She was just putting her lipstick on when the back doorbell rang. She smiled, he'd remembered that only people who didn't know better went to the front door. She answered the door to the guy she'd been thinking about non-stop and he took her breath away. He wore skinny jeans with a light denim shirt under a black blazer and his regulation converse (red today). She'd counted 7 different pairs already since she met him and wondered if he ever wore anything else! He was wearing sunglasses in the brightness of the day, but from his point of view it was more to do with hiding as much as he could because he felt so nervous.

"Hello," Louise said brightly, slightly too brightly.

"Hi", Spencer said, "you look good, really good. I wasn't sure where we were going, I hope I'm not under dressed." He looked uncomfortable, hands shoved in his pockets, kicking the toe of his shoe against the doorstep. She stepped back to open the door further and he took this as an invitation to step inside.

"I thought we'd just go to this great pub I know, the food is really good, chairs are comfy and the atmosphere is relaxed. You look great," she stepped closer to him feeling bolder, "gorgeous in fact."

She lifted his glasses and smiled at him cheekily, he took them off folding them up before placing them on the unit behind her.

"Um, thanks, I- uh don't think I've ever been called that before."

"Maybe not to your face, but I bet many people have thought it."

Louise rested her hands lightly on his chest and moved up to kiss him. He seemed hesitant at first and she hoped she wasn't flinging herself at him, but she was pretty sure he was at a loss as to how he should be acting after last night. After a few seconds he kissed her back and wrapped his arms round her waist. It felt different, there were more clothes for a start and they were standing up so he could appreciate the height difference. She was tall, but so was he so she came up to just under his chin, perfect kissing height.

The kissing became a little more intense as their hands explored further. She placed her hands under his shirt, stroking his spine and delighting in the shiver he gave as he moaned into her mouth. He seemed unsure where to put his hands so she let him just rest them around her for now. After a few minutes of feeling like she didn't need lunch, she could live on his kisses, her stomach rumbled loudly. They both laughed and the unsure tension which they'd both felt to begin with was gone. He kissed her once more briefly,

"Come on let's get going before you faint with hunger", he teased.

She smiled, taking her bag and jacket and leading the way out to her car. The drive to the pub was a short one, but they chatted all the way, learning about each other little by little. He was so interesting to talk to and she found herself hungry to know more and more about this unique man in front of her.

Louise had phoned ahead so they had no problem getting a seat in a comfy booth tucked away at the back of the bar. A real fire burned in the grate and the little place hummed with a quiet energy of Saturday afternoon lunchers enjoying some down time. Louise had been right, the food was great and Spencer enjoyed sampling some new things while providing some very interesting info about certain things on the menu.

"You really are a genius aren't you?" Louise laughed when he told her the history of a particular cheese.

"Sorry", he mumbled looking embarrassed. She took his hand,

"Don't be sorry, it's very cool!", she smiled and leaned over to kiss him. She revelled in the easy conversation between them and he stroked her cheek, sighing happily,

"Well if it isn't Ms. Dewar!", a loud, deep voice broke through their quiet moment of intimacy.

Louise looked up quickly and Spencer felt her fingers tighten round his.

"Gavin", she said curtly, "how are you? Good to see you". It was clear to Spencer that it was anything, but good to see him.

Gavin was a broad guy with a receding hairline, a lot of muscles and an ego which obviously came in the room before he did. He leaned down to hug Louise, kissing her on both cheeks, lingering a little too long in holding her. She patted his arm and squirmed nervously.

"I'm good Lou, good, usual crap at work, dealing with completely inadequate twats, you know how it is. Well, maybe not," he laughed, "not exactly high finance in the book world is it?!".

Louise kept her features passive and looked straight through this Gavin person. He squirmed this time, Spencer noticed, this girl had quite the killer look.

Suddenly Gavin changed tack, thrusting his hand towards Spencer,

"Alright mate, I'm Gavin, old friend of Lou's. And you are?"

"Dr Spencer Reid, how do you do." Spencer shook Gavin's hand.

"Huh, a yank eh? What's wrong Lou, not enough British guys to choose from? Still I suppose when you've had one of the best, it's hard to drop your standards. U.S. Gives you a load of new opportunities."

Louise looked like she might explode and Spencer was concerned she might just have a right hook to match her withering looks. However, she just smiled sweetly and said,

"Well Gavin as lovely as it's been to see you, I'd really like to get back to my new opportunity and I'm sure you'd like to get back to Gemma."

Gavin's face darkened in surprise,

"Gemma's not here" he stuttered out.

"Oh that's right, I forgot about that. I bumped into her in M&S and she told me about her dumping your ass when she caught you shagging the rugby physio and then the rugby physio dumped you too when she found out you weren't single, then the rugby team dumped you for unprofessional behaviour for shagging the physio! Tough break. Anyway, see you around."

Louise turned her back on Gavin slightly, looking at Spencer with a fixed smile and chattering about ordering pudding.

"Um right", Gavin looked like he wanted to thump her, instead he walked away "bitch" he muttered under his breath as he did so.

When he'd gone, Louise exhaled loudly, her hand shaking,

"God I need a gin. I'm so sorry Spencer."

"Hey it's ok", Spencer placed his arm round her shoulder, bringing her closer so she could rest her head in the crook of her neck. "Do you want to tell me what that was about?"

She shrugged. She really didn't want to, but she knew the subject of exes would come up eventually and it was better to just get it over with.

"That was Gavin. He is a good friend of my ex."

Spencer nodded, "your ex being one of the best guys in Britain?"

She choked out a humourless laugh, "so some people think. Could we order pudding? If I can't have gin, I need chocolate and if I'm going to tell you this story, I need some kind of vice!"

He laughed and passed her the dessert menu. Once they'd ordered she took a deep breath and started to tell him,

"The short version is, my ex Stephen and I were together for two years and I thought we were happy. He is a businessman who owns a chain of hotels, he came here from London to set up a new one, it's near the shop, that's how we met and he decided to make Edinburgh his base so we could be together. After two years he missed London and wanted to move back, but I told him I didn't want to leave here. My family are here, my business, it's my home. He was more rootless, travelling all over the world living in hotels, living a different life. In the end he chose the excitement of London and LA over boring old me and that's it. Unfortunately he still has a few friends here that I bump into occasionally." She rolled her eyes.

Spencer nodded, he wasn't sure if he wanted to know the answer to his next question, "does he still own the hotel here?"

Louise nodded, "yes, we agreed I wouldn't go in and he'd avoid everywhere I was likely to be so we wouldn't bump into each other. I needed him out of my life completely.

"How long ago was that?" Spencer asked reluctantly,

"18 months" Louise said with a sigh, "I realise now that although I loved him, things weren't right, there was an imbalance in the relationship. I got caught up though. Lavish parties, amazing dresses, celebrities floating about, VIP treatment everywhere we went, amazing holidays. It wasn't real though, it wasn't a strong basis for a relationship. The only time I go to the hotel now is for the charity I'm involved in. We have a fundraiser once a year, Stephen lets us use the hotel free of charge, he pays for everything; food, staff, DJ etc. He is a good man, he knows how close to my heart it is."

"What's the charity?"

"It's for adult literacy. Originally just in the UK, but now we have global links and we help to develop literacy programmes all over the world. It's a great night, very posh, black tie and ball gowns, silent auction, entertainment, dancing etc."

Spencer took all this info in, looking at how dejected Louise seemed now even though she was obviously passionate about this cause. Her spark had faded a little, he supposed because of Gavin and the mention of her ex. He wanted to say something to help her feel better, but he wasn't sure what. Luckily the puddings arrived then. Louise shook herself a little, brightly dishing out the spoons and napkins.

"Anyway Spencer I'm sorry, I know it's rule 101 not to talk about exes on a first date," she sighed.

"It's ok, I understand. Everyone has a past, a part of them that is painful".

She nodded as she ate a little of her chocolate cake.

"What about you Dr Reid? Did you leave a line of broken hearted girls back in DC?" She really hoped he hadn't and she sort of thought he wouldn't if his jumpy demeanour and what she perceived as his lack of experience were anything to go by.

He shook his head, "No, I um, I've never really had a proper girlfriend." He looked embarrassed. "I guess that's what happens with unrequited love."

Now it was his turn to be downcast. Louise seized the opportunity to try and lighten the mood,

"This cake is amazing, here try", she held her spoon out to him and he tasted a little, eyes never leaving hers.

"It's good" he agreed, "here you have chocolate on your chin", he wiped it off with his thumb as she giggled. Then he held his thumb close to her mouth. Heat flushed through her as she closed her mouth round his digit and sucked the chocolate sauce from it. His eyes went wide and his breath caught in his throat. Louise leaned forward, giving him a blistering kiss which tasted of chocolate and coffee and promises of more, much more.

When they'd finished, they sat and talked some more until they realised it was dark outside and some people were coming in for an early dinner sitting.

"It's so easy to talk to you Spencer", Louise smiled, "there's no agenda, no games, no ego, it's lovely."

Spencer beamed, "thank you, I would definitely concur with that statement."

She wasn't sure what to say next, but she wanted to be brave so she went ahead,

"Do you fancy coming back to mine for a bit? We could just chill out on the sofa, watch a film? Get cosy?"

Spencer smiled, "I'd like that thank you", but he did seem nervous and Louise wondered what had caused that. She tried to put it out of her mind, if he really didn't want to come back, he wouldn't have said. She was sure. So they paid the bill, half each, she insisted, got back in her car and drove home.


	11. Chapter 11 - Saturday Night

**A/N: Please R &R, thank you!**

Chapter 11

When Louise and Spencer got back to her house, he stood awkwardly in the kitchen, not quite sure where to put himself.

Louise smiled shyly,

"So would you like the tour?"

"Yeah that would be good, but isn't it just like my apartment, but downstairs?"

Louise laughed, "no silly, first of all, they are both houses, not apartments! The layout is different because it used to be one house many years ago. Come on."

She took his hand and led him through from the kitchen to the dining room, off of which was the conservatory. These were the only rooms he'd ever seen. They went out into a long hall. Louise pointed right,

"Bathroom and spare room are through there."

She moved to the left, "office in there". Spencer peered into the room which looked organised, but relaxed with as many books as his!

They walked forward a little, where Louise stood by an open door looking embarrassed,

"What's in there?" Spencer asked, pretty sure he knew the answer.

"That's my bedroom..." Louise raised an eyebrow and Spencer smiled.

"Am I allowed in?" he asked jokingly.

"Maybe", Louise reached her hand out to take his, "something of a sneak peak perhaps?"

Spencer swallowed hard and she felt his hand tighten in hers. He looked worried, really worried.

"Hey", she stroked some hair off his forehead, "where did you go?"

"Mm, well, uh I don't really, I mean, you know how I said I'd never really had a proper girl-"

They both jumped at the sound of Spencer's phone ringing. Flustered, he reached into his pocket and Louise saw Derek's name flash up on the screen before Spencer answered it.

"Hi Morgan", Spencer sounded a little flustered.

Louise couldn't make out what Derek was saying and she felt a bit awkward just standing there. Spencer held up a finger to her to wait and wandered down the hall a little. She leaned against her door frame, watching him on the phone, listening to his side of the conversation:

"-No not much, just a quiet day,"  
"- I'm not boring, I was just getting to know my new city"  
"- It's Saturday night, how is it that you don't have plans or a date?"  
"- oh I see, she blew you off so you need a drinking buddy?"  
"- no I'm staying in tonight, thanks anyway"  
"- no I'm not with anybody"

At this point Spencer looked up guiltily as Louise's eyes widened. She walked into her bedroom, pushing the door shut a little behind her. He was lying to Morgan about where he was? Why? Was he embarrassed about their relationship, could you even call it that? She sat down on the edge of her bed, kicked off her shoes and waited. From what she could hear, Spencer was adamant he didn't want to go out with Derek and he was trying to persuade him not to come round and watch TV with pizza for a boys night. She went into her en suite and locked the door. She was confused and tired. She peeled her clothes off, changing into some jammie bottoms and a vest. She added a hoodie, scraped her hair into a top knot and pulled on some comfy socks. After a deep cleansing breath, she unlocked the door and walked out, ready to speak to Spencer and tell him he should probably just go home and hang out with Derek. She stopped short when she saw him sitting on her bed looking worried. He held up his phone,

"Derek wanted me to go out in town with him."

"I heard", she said, a little more coldly than she'd planned.

Spencer looked crestfallen,

"Look I know you heard me lie about where I am, but I want to explain why."

Louise looked sceptical.

"Please?" Spencer asked, reaching out to her.

She passed across the room and sat on the end of her bed, one leg underneath her.

"Great bed by the way. Vintage 4 poster?"

She nodded.

"I suppose you don't want to hear any fun facts about this type of bed?"

She shook her head and he realised he better start explaining soon.

"Derek is, well he's Derek you know? God's Gift to women, never without a date, more bed hopping than anyone can imagine. He's my best friend, but he's not always good at appreciating when I need him to be supportive instead of joking around. He's so close to you and I'm quite sure he thinks that one day you'll fall madly in love with him and realise what you've been missing-"

"WHAT?" Louise interrupted.

"Seriously" said Spencer, "he talks about you all the time and differently to how he does about all the other women. Anyway, this" he indicated the space between them, "it's new, I just want it to be you and me for a bit, no outside interference. No pressure."

Louise nodded, "I think I understand. I thought you were embarrassed by me."

"How could I be?!"

"I'm not sure actually, I'm a lovely person", she laughed.

"You are", Spencer agreed.

"Ok, let's go and watch that film. I hope you don't mind my comfies, I kind of thought you were heading out." She pointed at her jammie trousers.

Spencer pulled her to her feet, "you look beautiful" he kissed her briefly.

She led the way through to the living room, a huge, welcoming comfy room with two large squishy sofas, a wall mounted wide screen TV and some very interesting pieces of furniture. Louise indicated a cupboard in the corner,

"The DVD's are in there, why don't you choose one and I'll go and make some coffee, or hot chocolate?"

"How much chocolate do you eat?!" Spencer laughed, "but hot chocolate would be amazing."

Ten minutes later they were curled up on the sofa directly opposite the TV, steaming mugs of hot chocolate on the table. Spencer had taken his shoes off and was sitting cross legged, feeling surprisingly relaxed. Louise leant into Spencer's arm and was delighted when he moved it to wrap round her while she snuggled into his chest. Neither of them paid much attention to the film though they looked at the TV intently.

Louise was trying not to be distracted by the feel of Spencer's pecs against her cheek and the sound of his racing heart. She desperately wanted to ask what he was going to tell her before Derek phoned.

Spencer was trying to concentrate on not imagining peeling Louise's clothes off and taking her here on this sofa. He was doing some equations in his head to stop his mind wandering too much, but his heart was still racing.

Louise's phone beeped beside her. She laughed when she read it.

"Derek must be desperate. He's suggesting I go out as his 'wing woman' now." She was determined to show Spencer that she and Derek were just friends. She didn't need that as an added worry.

Spencer looked uncomfortable,

"If you want to go, that's fine"

Louise looked up, "I don't want to go, I want to stay with you".

He looked relieved. Louise, turned to face him, legs folded up under her. She switched the TV off and noted that it was only 9.00 p.m. The night was still young...

"Why are you switching it off?" asked Spencer.

"I'm just more interested in you than the film, so let's just talk or something..."

Spencer smiled, but there was that look again.

"Spencer I have to ask, every time it looks like we're going to get a bit closer, you get this panicked look. Is it because I shut us down last night? You know it's not because I didn't want to-"

"No!" Spencer cut her off then sighed, "look it's awkward ok? For me. And maybe you once I tell you."

"Tell me what?" She felt worried now.

"Well earlier when you were talking about exes and stuff, I should have said then-"

"Oh my God you're married aren't you?!"

"WHAT?!" Spencer actually laughed, "no I am definitely NOT married!"

"Is it because of Emily?"

"No it's not actually, though that does feel weird. Listen please, just let me get this out."

"Ok"

"I didn't have a normal childhood, I went to college at 14, I didn't have peers and then when I started working, I was more absorbed in that than relationships. Anyway, I'm almost 30 and I'm- a, well I'm-" he took a deep breath, "I'm a virgin". He finished his a sentence, deflated.

"Oh I'm so relieved!" Louise said.

"No you don't understand, I've never had sex and it's not one of those anything but situations either. I know everything that can happen, should happen, but I've just never had the opportunity or rather I've avoided the opportunities."

"I get it Spencer, I just honestly thought you were going to tell me something way worse and then leave."

"I'm still here", he said hopefully.

"Spencer I don't mind, I meant what I said last night. I don't want to rush this. I have to be honest though..." she moved towards him, kneeling up beside him and wrapping her arms around his neck. He held her close, smiling shyly and trying to control the excitement building inside him,

"...I have liked you from the first day you moved here. I'm so attracted to you, last night was fantastic. I want you, if you want me and when you're ready..." She trailed off worried that maybe he didn't want her.

"I want you so much" Spencer breathed into her neck, "I might just need some time before we, uhm you know..."

Louise smiled into his shoulder, "let's just see how this goes."

Then her mouth found his and they were back to last night, kissing and exploring each other. It was the best Saturday night she'd had in months...

 **The next chapter will be appearing as a stand alone one, rated M for some smut! Keep an eye out.**


	12. Chapter 12

Discovery Chapter 12

You can find Chapter 12 of Discovery, uploaded as a separate story, uploaded under M so as not to offend anyone who only follows K-T rated stories. If you don't read it, it won't affect your understanding of the story. If you do read it, please R&R. It's my first shot at writing smut and I have edited it so many times, I don't know if it's ok or not. Thank you for sticking with this story. I am eternally grateful.


	13. Chapter 13 - Time to say goodnight

Chapter 13

Louise's breathing slowed after a few minutes and she turned to look at Spencer. He'd lain down beside her so their heads were side by side, his arm across her waist, hugging her to him. His dark eyes were staring at her intently, trying to commit this moment to memory. She smiled, feeling a little awkward at what had just passed between them.

"Hey", she said quietly. She turned onto her side and he readjusted his position so they were facing each other. She reached for his hand, intertwining their fingers.

"That was incredible," she said, unsure how to proceed. Spencer smiled and looked down at their hands.

"It was certainly new for me," he said.

She was unsure how to take that so she touched his cheek, trying to figure out his facial expression. He pressed his cheek into her hand and closed his eyes.

"I feel a bit selfish," Louise said, "that was all for me..."

He shook his head and held the hand she had pressed to his face.

"No it was perfect," he kissed the back of her hand and stifled a yawn.

"Are you tired? Do you want to go to bed? Here, I mean, do you want to stay? Just to sleep..." She trailed off unsure of his expression.

He leaned forward and kissed her softly, tangling his hand in her hair again. She moaned and kissed him back harder, pulling him to her. She wanted him, she just wasn't sure what he wanted. He slowed their kissing down until her pecked her on the lips and rubbed his nose to hers,

"I'm going to head home," he said, "thank you for a wonderful day,"

Louise tried not to show how disappointed she was that he wasn't staying. She knew he wanted to take things slowly though she thought tonight had been anything but. She was suddenly very aware of their state of undress and she hastily pulled her bra back up, straps safely back on her shoulders. She sat up and slid down past Spencer to sit on the other end of the sofa and reached out to the floor to retrieve her vest top and handed him his t-shirt. He took it wordlessly, worried that she seemed to have put up a bit of a wall around herself. He put his t-shirt and shirt back on while she stood and readjusted her clothing.

"I'll just take these through," she said indicating the mugs.

He watched her go, hating this awkwardness between them. Was it always like this after you'd been intimate with someone? Maybe it was because they didn't know each other very well or that she had been vulnerable with him. After he put his shoes back on, he gathered his jacket, phone and keys and went through to the kitchen. She had put her hoodie back on and was pottering about at the sink. He walked up behind her and slid his arms round her waist. He felt her stiffen against him, he didn't get it. He kissed the back of her ear and felt her shiver,

"Are you ok?," he said quietly into her ear. She nodded. "Tell me?" he asked her simply.

She took a deep breath and leaned her head back on his shoulder.

"I'm just a bit thrown. We had this really intimate moment, but you didn't want me to reciprocate and now you're leaving. It just feels strange. Like I've read this situation wrong."

She hated how emotional she sounded. They were having the "where is this going" chat on their first date. She didn't think Cosmo would approve! He turned her to face him and enveloped her in a hug. He had so much he wanted to say, but he struggled with expressing his emotions so it was easier not to look her in the eye when he said what he needed to,

"Tonight was the first time I've been this close to someone, I'm a little overwhelmed and just not quite ready for that next step. I would love to stay and lie with you and hold you, but sleeping with someone, like just sleeping and sharing your space with them, that's all new to me, I want to take my time if that's ok."

Louise pulled back,

"I'm sorry I didn't mean to rush you, I just don't want you to go, that's the truth,"

"That is very good to hear, I will be thinking of you, lying in that incredible bed," he kissed her cheek and she laughed.

"You really like my vintage furniture don't you?!" He nodded and laughed a little.

"Goodnight Louise."

"Goodnight Spencer."

She walked him to the door where he turned and kissed her so deeply she felt like she was in a film. When he finally pulled away they were both breathless and he was dealing with some discomfort in the groin region. He opened the door, stepped out then turned back to kiss her again before finally making his way to the outside stairs and up to his front door. Louise stood listening to his footsteps and realised how tired she was.

When she went to bed a few minutes later, she heard her phone buzz. It was from Spencer,

 _"Goodnight Louise, thank you for a great day. Can I take you to dinner tomorrow night even though it's a Sunday?"  
_  
Louise felt so excited, but she already had plans.

 _"Night Spencer, thank you too, and for tonight. I'm meeting my brother and Derek tomorrow evening, he's cooking for us at his new place and my Mum might be coming too. How about Monday? There's a great restaurant near the museum called The Outsider. I'm leading a seminar at the museum until 6pm so I could meet you there. I think I miss you already."  
_  
She hesitated before she pressed send. Was it too much too soon? No, she didn't want to play games and Spencer Reid was making her feel things she'd never felt before even though she acknowledged she had been in love in the past. This was definitely different.

 _"Monday it is. Hopefully I might bump into you in the garden tomorrow." (He added a winky face) "I know what you mean"_

Louise closed her eyes and smiled, sighing deeply and letting out a little moan as she replayed what had occurred on her sofa. She fell asleep remembering how good it felt to be with him.


	14. Chapter 14 - Sunday

Chapter 14

 **Sunday morning**

Spencer woke from a deep sleep where he'd had some great dreams. Images of Louise in his bed, in his shower, holding his hand on the beach as they walked along, they all moved behind his eyelids as he rested. As he opened his eyes he smiled, but he felt something else too; anxiety, guilt, doubt.

He'd always been a very deep thinker, but when it came to his emotions, he was very guarded. When Emily died, he'd cried for hours with JJ because he felt this was the best way to cope. Better than going back to any kind of substance abuse. When he made the decision to move here though, he tried to put his feelings in a box and focus on his work, with that he knew where he was. Then he met Louise and now he felt his emotions were flying all over the place.

He flicked through his phone, opening his photo album and scrolling to his favourite pictures. He and his team back in DC were incredibly close, more than colleagues. You couldn't see the things they had and not be like that, but when Emily passed away, there was a big a hole in their family. He sat up, looking at a picture of Emily at Rossi's house, her head thrown back laughing, a glass of red wine in his hand. David Rossi was the de facto Father of the group. Through some very successful book deals, he was incredibly wealthy and somewhat famous. He often hosted dinner at his large home, cooking in the massive kitchen, providing wine and regaling them with tales of times before they were even born. Spencer missed him and made a mental note to phone him this week. He closed the picture. Emily was gone and he had to remind himself that Louise was a different person. Emily would want him to move on, to find happiness. If only that niggling guilt would listen to that reasoning.

Was he doing the right thing? Getting involved? He didn't know how long he'd stay here, his mom was still back home and thoughts of her nagged him though he emailed her every day and tried to speak to her every two days. He'd only been in his new job a matter of weeks, what if he missed profiling? Would he keep going here? Louise had mentioned her ex briefly yesterday after that overgrown idiot had upset her. She said they broke up because she didn't want to move. Did that mean if he became involved with her he was tied to staying here too? So many questions, he felt lightheaded. Maybe he should arrange to see a counsellor here too like he had back home. It had helped a bit he admitted to himself reluctantly.

He got up, showered, dressed and made some breakfast. Time to rejoin the real world he thought, instead of spending so much time in his own head. He chose a book from the shelf and sat by the window to eat and read. A few moments later, his phone rang. He grabbed it, hoping to see Louise's name, but it was Morgan.

"Morning Morgan"

"Hey kid, whatcha up to?"

"Not much just eating breakfast"

"Cool. Wanna hang today? I feel like we need a catch up."

Spencer panicked, a catch up about what? Did he know? Had Louise said something? No, she knew how he felt about keeping it quiet for now.

"Reid? You still there?"

"Yeah sorry, yeah let's hang, where should I meet you?"

They quickly made plans to go into town. Derek still had quite a few Edinburgh haunts he wanted to show him and he was looking forward to seeing his friend. Even if Spencer couldn't talk to him specifically about Louise, maybe he could do some hypothetical questioning.

 **Sunday afternoon**

Louise had enjoyed a lie in, a bath and caught up on her emails and now she was cleaning. She told herself it was to be organised for her brother visiting, but really it was to keep her busy and stop her knocking on Spencer's door. She played her music as high as she dared and danced about as she tidied, organised and cleaned until everything looked neat as a magazine picture. Jack had said he'd be there about 2pm and Louise hoped he was bringing their mum with him. He was driving down from Aberdeen and spending a few days in Edinburgh. Neither he nor his mum had been able to come for Louise's actual birthday so they hoped to all catch up now though Louise did have to work on Monday. Her phone rang and she jumped, wondering if it was Spencer. The caller ID showed her mum,

"Hi Mum"

"Hello darling, Jack and I are about an hour away, I managed to get the piece finished so he took a detour and picked me up. I'm so looking forward to seeing you. I felt horribly guilty not to be there for your birthday."

Louise smiled, her mum was an artist who lived in Argyll. Sometimes she just had to work on if she had commissioned pieces, but Louise knew she still struggled with maternal guilt despite having children in their 30's.

"Mum it's fine, I understand and I'm just delighted you're coming down. I'm excited to go to Derek's new house as well."

"Haven't you seen it yet? He's been in about two months now hasn't he?"

"Yes Mum, but we're both busy, I've hardly had time to speak to him on the phone!"

"Mm I've had the same conversation with your brother."

Louise could imagine Jack rolling his eyes at his Mum's exasperation with them both. Although she worked hard, she lived in a small village where the pace of life was decidedly slower. Despite having lived in Edinburgh for over 30 years before moving away, she did tend to forget how busy city life was and just popping round for an afternoon cuppa was not as easy as she thought. She constantly worried about her children and she counted Derek in that too. She'd hate for them to all grow apart too much and she relied on Derek to keep an eye on Louise though she'd never admit that to her strong, independent daughter. Since Stephen had left, she worried more that she would cut herself off. She knew Derek would do his best not to let that happen.

It seemed like Mrs Dewar was settling in for quite the chat, so Louise spoke across her,

"Mum I'm going to see you really soon and we've got 4 days to catch up properly, save the gossip for then!"

"Oh yes quite right dear, see you soon."

Louise hung up laughing. She adored her mum and she really hoped she would have a chance to speak to her about Spencer without her brother earwigging. He was good for some advice, but she didn't want to risk Derek finding out yet.

Just then her doorbell rang. She hoped it might be Spencer and to her delight it was.

"Hello there" she said flirtatiously leaning on the door frame.

"This is me bumping into you in the garden," he said smiling, a joking reference to his text last night.

"Well it's nice to 'bump into you'" Louise said making quotation marks with her fingers, "where are you off to?"

"I'm going to meet Derek for a bit, he's heading into town. I'll find out what he got up to last night. Um you've not spoken to him today have you?"

Louise shook her head, "he text to confirm dinner at his tonight, but Spencer don't worry, I won't say anything, I understand what you said last night"

He relaxed and smiled, "thank you. I hope you have fun with your family. Will I get to meet them?"

Louise looked slightly concerned, "uh yeah, but I'll stop short of the family interrogation! My brother can be a bit of a nightmare. He's a detective and he sometimes acts like he's in Midsomer Murders!"

Spencer looked confused, Louise laughed,

"Google it!"

He nodded,

"Ok I'll head off. See you tomorrow at 6pm."

Louise nodded, she really wanted to kiss him. Spencer continued to stand there looking a little lost.

"Ok bye,"

Louise leant forward, placing her hands on his chest,

"Bye", she looked close into his eyes and kissed him. He smiled against her lips, wrapping his arms round her waist, he melted into the kiss. A minute later she broke away breathless,

"I hope Derek isn't picking you up here!"

Spencer shook his head, "no I'm meeting him there. I really better go."

One more kiss and he was gone. Louise was glad she'd seen him. Last night seemed like a dream when she woke up this morning. Speaking to him just now, confirmed she wasn't imagining things and he seemed as happy to see her as she was to see him. 


	15. Chapter 15 - The Family

**AN: This is a bit of a filler chapter I'm afraid. I admit not much happens, but I'm just setting things up for the next part of the story. Please stick with me. Thank you for all the comments, they really keep me going. Also apologies for the delay in getting this up, it's been tax return deadline in the UK.**

Chapter 15

Later that afternoon, Jack and their Mum arrived in a flurry of hugs, kisses and exclamations of being too thin!

They sat in the conservatory drinking coffee and eating cake while Louise opened her presents and told them about her "garden party".

"I can't believe you had a hot tub party in April Lou!" Jack laughed, "It must have been freezing!"

"People wrapped up and they were mostly inside when they weren't actually in the water!" Louise said indignantly, but with a smile.

It was so lovely for the three of them to be together.

"How is the shop doing darling?"

"Really well Mum, thank you. The online side is obviously busier, but having the coffee area has helped increase footfall and now I'm doing more writing and teaching, it's raising the profile."

Her mum smiled knowingly.

Anita Dewar was a worrier when it came to her children and when her own father died, leaving Louise the option to carry on the business he'd built up, she was terrified it would take over Louise's life. She was a promising writer and her workshops were in demand thanks to the contacts she had built up over the years. Anita could see that disappearing if she tied herself to the bookshop.

And that did happen for the first couple of years until Louise's break up with Steve had forced her to revaluate. She turned up on her mum's doorstep in a terrible state and they'd spent days trying to figure out a plan. In the end Anita had suggested Louise find a good manager, step away from the daily business side and focus more on what she loved.

She'd been very resistant to begin with, feeling like she would be letting her Grandpa down. However, Anita had come back to Edinburgh with her and together they began interviewing. Eventually they found Cat, a passionate and knowledgeable candidate who was fed up of the corporate merry go round and wanted to bring her skills into a more personal operation. They all clicked and from then on, she ran the business like it was her own. She and Louise became great friends and it worked for everyone.

"Right you guys, that's enough talking shop!" Jack interrupted them, "I want the scoop on my new tenant."

Louise was a bit thrown. What should she say? It was a delicate balance between showing that she _did_ know him and not showing just how _well_ she knew him.

"He's really nice", she said nonchalantly, "super-intelligent, works with Derek obviously. His mum lives in Vegas where he's from and as far as I can tell he moved here after one of his colleagues died. Seems neat and organised so I don't think you need to worry." She smiled, hoping it looked like the face of a friendly neighbour and not a woman besotted with the man sharing her building.

"That's not much scoop Lou," Jack laughed. "Are you losing your touch?! Normally you'd have found out all his credentials before he so much as unpacked a box!"

"Are you saying I'm nosey?!"

"Yes" Jack said as their mum said,

"No, interested!"

"Well I don't know much else, you'll need to ask Derek for more info, in fact we better head if we want to get to his on time."

Jack nodded and he and Louise cleared the tea things away. Anita watched her daughter thoughtfully, Louise was holding something back and Mother's Intuition told her it was something to do with this new neighbour. She smiled to herself, ooh things were getting interesting.


	16. Chapter 16 - Derek's house

**AN: Here is the next chapter, I've managed to get it up quicker than I thought and actually I had written so much it has turned into three chapters! I didn't realise how much I had down. I have to admit, I'm desperate to progress the story to get to the more interesting chapters that I've already written. And I find reading your comments quite addictive! Thank you so much! Please continue to R &R.**

Chapter 16

Derek's new house was at the end of a single track road about 5 miles down the coast. It had previously been a farm so had some lovely grounds as well as a path down to a rocky shore. The farmhouse had been renovated pre-sale, but the outbuildings hadn't been touched. Derek now had the luxury of living in a beautiful house while having the opportunity to convert and renovate 3 other buildings into homes for sale or rent. He had honed his skills by fixing up houses back in DC and was never more at peace than when he was getting his hands dirty. Louise had been worried about him being isolated when she'd seen pictures, but Derek had reassured her that at the start of the farm track was the local pub! In fact it's car park sort of merged into the courtyard at the front of Derek's house. He was in his element making friends with the locals and had settled in within a week.

As Louise drove her Mum and Jack down the road, Anita exclaimed at the cars gathered,

"How many people is Derek having for dinner?!"

"Just us mum! That's the cars from the pub patrons."

Anita laughed,

"Trust Derek to find a rural dwelling right next to somewhere with Scotch on tap!"

They pulled up next to Derek's SUV and Louise checked her phone. She hated that she was waiting for Spencer to reply. She had text him twice during the afternoon, but hadn't heard back. He hadn't been home before she left and she couldn't think where he would be. Not that it was any of her business, but all of a sudden she felt tied up with his life, his plans. She knew he still didn't know that many people here although Penelope had mentioned taking him for dinner the last time they'd spoken. Louise got the feeling that Spencer and Penelope were already acquainted, but she couldn't figure out how considering where they were from and their jobs. Maybe they had just really hit it off now they were working in the same department. That must be where he was. Or maybe he'd gone into the office. Or maybe he was lying in a hospital somewhere and the staff didn't know who to contact. There she was, catastrophizing again!

"Expecting something darling?" Anita asked quizzically, "you keep checking your phone."

"No no sorry, just checking if there's any messages about my seminar tomorrow."

Louise smiled and got out of the car. She had to stop thinking about Spencer or her Mum was going to know something was up.

The three Dewars admired the outside of Derek's new home, waiting on the doorstep for him to answer.

He opened the door with a relaxed, easy smile,

"Hey guys",

"Hello - Hi - Hello" the 3 Dewars chorused.

They crowded through the front door, shutting the chill out behind them, enjoying the warmth in the bright hallway.

There were hugs and kisses all round as housewarming gifts, flowers and wine were handed over to Derek. He took them gratefully and laid them on the hall table while he took their coats.

"You're looking tired Derek," Anita said worriedly placing her hand on his cheek, "I hope you're not overdoing it."

"Aww Mama D, come on, you been talkin' to my Mom? You sound just like her, as usual," he winked.

"Now you come to mention it, I did have a lovely Skype call with her the other day."

"Uh-uh" Derek nodded knowingly, "I know what these Mom chats are like! Trading information like spies!"

Everyone laughed and began to make their way down the hall to where they assumed the kitchen was.

"Hey wait up a sec guys," Derek spoke in a hushed tone, darting his eyes to the kitchen door.

"Look I hope you don't mind, but I invited Spencer to join us for dinner? He wasn't keen because he didn't want to intrude, but he don't know that many people here so I didn't want to think of him sittin' on his own while we're altogether."

"Ooh how lovely," Anita rubbed her hands together with a smile, "I'm looking forward to having a good chat with this American boy."

Louise felt the room tilt a little. _Spencer was here?_ She felt a rush of anticipation at seeing him which seemed ridiculous as it wasn't like she could start kissing him over the starters. However, she also felt a sense of dread. Meeting her family? They'd only just started seeing each other, sort of, she wasn't sure what it was and now her Mum was going to be busy getting to know him when she didn't know what he was to her daughter.

"Hey sweetness," Derek placed an arm round her, "you coming? You were a million miles away there."

Louise smiled and hugged him,

"Yes sorry, just hungry!"

"Food will be served soon! Geez you and your stomach!"

She laughed as they walked into the kitchen, her Mum and brother already there.

Spencer was sitting at the dining table off to the right, looking, quite frankly, terrified. Anita was on her way across to him, hands outstretched, he stood up to greet her.

"Spencer, it's so good to meet you, I'm Anita," she shook his hand with her right while holding them both together with her left.

"Pleased to meet you ma'am," Spencer replied politely.

"Spencer, good to meet you mate," Jack shook his hand too, "thanks for taking on the let of the house."

"Thanks for letting me let it," Spencer smiled, "it's quite an amazing property".

Louise had hung back this whole time, still leaning into Derek, suddenly uncomfortable with her body, unsure where to put her limbs.

Spencer looked up from between Jack and Anita and gave her a small smile,

"Hi Louise", he was obviously trying to sound nonchalant.

"Hello," she replied cheerily, maybe too cheerily. "Did you have a good afternoon in town?"

Derek spoke first,

"Certainly did, showed him a few more sights and few more hot spots!" he winked.

"So what you mean is you showed him your favourite bars to chat up women!" Everyone laughed, even Spencer which broke some of the tension she was feeling.

"Right Derek we want the tour!" Anita clapped her hands together.

"Okaay" Derek said mock grudgingly, but grinning as he couldn't wait to show off his new home.


	17. Chapter 17 - The Tour

"This is obviously the kitchen", he indicated the large L shaped room which had a sofa at the short end, the dining table in the corner and long galley kitchen area extending out.

He showed them through a door into the living room which was warm and cosy from the wood burning stove. Another door took them back out into the hall with a WC then a wide sweeping staircase carried them upstairs where there were 3 bedrooms and a family bathroom.

"My office," Derek indicated with a flourish, "and my bedroom,"

"Where the magic happens eh bro?" Jack laughed and slapped Derek on the back as he squirmed in front of Anita.

"Don't worry darling, I gave up on the notion of a well behaved Derek many years ago. At least you're polite and a gentleman. That's all we can ask!"

Derek beamed at his second Mum as Louise and Jack rolled their eyes.

Downstairs, Spencer sat on the small kitchen sofa, twisting the throw nervously between his fingers. He had only been with Derek for a couple of hours when he looked at his watch,

"I need to keep an eye on the time, I better head back soon, I need to get cracking on my cooking!"

"Oh yeah you're hosting Louise and her family," Spencer replied.

Derek looked puzzled, "how did you know that?!"

Spencer was startled, "Louise told me, I saw her in the garden this morning."

"Sooo Dr Reid do you chat to Louise a lot then...?" Derek waggled his eyebrows

"Um yeah I guess I do, she's kind, a good conversationalist," Spencer nodded.

"Yeah it's her conversation you like!"

"Morgan," Spencer shifted uncomfortably.

"Relax kid I'm just messin' with you! I know you'll have a lot in common with the book stuff. She's got a collection to rival yours."

"Yes she has," Spencer smiled

"So you've seen it pretty boy?"

"Well..."

"You're too easy! Chill out man!"

Spencer didn't feel chilled out, he felt stressed. Derek checked his watch again,

"Why don't you come back with me? Join us for dinner."

Spencer was torn. He was desperate to spend more time with Louise, but she'd said she didn't think it was best that he had the full family meeting, what if she thought he'd orchestrated it to force the issue?

"Spencer? You coming?" Derek was already standing up.

"Um yeah ok."

He followed Derek before he could talk himself out of it.

As the minutes ticked by during the afternoon, Spencer became more nervous, not just about seeing Louise and her family, but about appearing as friendly neighbours instead of...whatever it was they were.

He was so distracted, his mind kept wandering, flashbacks of last night making him catch his breath. How Louise felt, her touch, her kisses, her sounds, the emotional wrench he felt when he'd left her. He'd only known her for a few weeks and yet he felt so attached. Derek had given him tasks like peeling the carrots etc., but even that was taking him ages,

"Reid, Reid!" Derek's voice broke through his reverie, "what is with you man?"

"Nothing, just thinking." Spencer shrugged.

"Hey is it your Mom?" Derek enquired gently.

Spencer shifted guiltily,

"Uh yeah she's not had a good week." He felt terrible lying to Derek and about something so awful, _what if he was tempting fate?_ His mom had been fine that week, well fine for her and he'd spoken to her most days. It was easier for Derek to think it was his mom than admitting the truth and that was a hard thing to admit to himself.

When the doorbell finally rang, Spencer stood awkwardly in the kitchen, straining his ears for the sound of Louise's voice. There was a chorus of greetings and hugs before he heard Derek speaking in hushed tones. He couldn't make it out, but Spencer assumed Derek was telling them that he was there.

Anita and Jack came in the room before Louise. _Where was she?_ They both approached him with a warm, friendly welcome, especially Anita. He instantly felt at ease with her, like her daughter she was naturally warm. He just wanted to hug her.

Then he saw Louise come in with Derek's arm round her and his gut squeezed with an irrational pang of jealousy. They exchanged pleasantries before she began joking with Derek and he felt more relaxed as her laughter rang out. He chose to stay in the kitchen while the others went round the new house as he had already seen it in great detail!

When they all came back downstairs, Derek began organising the food for serving, Anita set the table and Jack went to check out Derek's entertainment system.

"Anything for me to do?" Louise asked?

"No darling, you're the designated driver, have a rest," Anita patted her daughter's shoulder.

Louise walked over to where Spencer sat and bumped his knee with hers, he looked up to see her smiling playfully,

"Budge up then,"

"What?"

"Budge up! It means move over!" she laughed.

"Oh right", flustered Spencer moved over to the next cushion and held his breath as Louise flopped down next to him.

"Hey" she said quietly.

"Hey yourself," he replied as she stroked the back of his hand with hers. He gasped, her touch was electric.

"I wish I could kiss you," she said, not looking at him. She spoke so quietly, he couldn't be sure if he'd heard her right.

Spencer stayed silent, he didn't know what to say. She looked up at him worriedly, _had she crossed a line?_

He looked back at her intently, trying to communicate how he felt without words. In the end he settled for squeezing her hand then after a quick check in both directions, brushing his lips against her cheek.

The sound of Jack opening the door had them springing apart guiltily and Louise giggled.

"Dinner's ready!" Derek announced.

"How very Martha Stewart of you Derek," Louise said as she gave Spencer a knowing wink.

"You know you love a man who can cook sweetness," Derek bumped her hip with his elbow and she bumped back.

Spencer felt envious of their easy camaraderie which verged on flirting. He was pretty sure Louise loved Derek deeply and nothing more, but he'd meant what he'd said last night. He thought Derek might one day decide she was his dream woman. The idea of it made him ache. She was his dream woman too. 


	18. Chapter 18 - Dinner

The 5 of them gathered round the table and began eating heartily. The conversation was so easy, even Spencer felt less awkward than usual.

They had chatted a lot about what was going on in Anita's village, Jack had joked it was like an episode of Eastenders. Anita was indignant that it was home and they all laughed at her tone. Shaking her head and smiling she said,

"So Spencer, where is home for you?"

"Mum!" Louise said looking at Anita with raised eyebrows.

"What?!" She replied innocently.

"Not everyone wants to share their life story!"

Jack snorted,

"Oh yeah sis, think you should take your own advice, after all you learned all your interrogating skills from our mother. You're just as bad as her!"

"Shut up Jack," Louise stuck her tongue out at her brother.

"An intelligent reply there Lou," Derek winked at Jack.

"You must excuse us Spencer", Anita laughed apologetically, "when my children get together, and I include Derek in this, they revert to being 10 year olds."

"It's fine, honestly, it's good to see a family so relaxed and involved."

There was silence after Spencer's honest and heartfelt declaration and he suddenly felt uncomfortable. Anita quickly diffused the tension,

"That's lovely to hear Spencer. Without my daughter accusing me of the Spanish Inquisition, if you feel like it, tell us about your family."

Spencer smiled at her. This woman would be a great asset to the BAU. She just had to smile at you and you wanted to lay your soul bare.

"Well it's just me and my Mom, I'm an only child and my dad left when I was a kid. I don't see him now."

Anita nodded, "Sorry to hear that dear, where does your mum live?"

Louise glared at her, but she ignored her. Spencer continued,

"She lives in Las Vegas. To answer your earlier question, that was home, where I grew up, then after college I guess it was DC for a long time, but actually I'm feeling like here, well your house Jack, is kind of home for now."

Louise beamed at him. She hoped that maybe she had something to do with that, but she didn't want to assume.

"That's so good to hear that you've settled so well. Another member to add to my brood!"

Spencer felt drawn further into the family grouping, but felt awkward at the implication that as another of Anita's children he'd fall into the role of de facto brother to Louise and he definitely didn't want her as a sister. Not with the things he'd like to do with her.

"Will your mum come and visit you now then?" Anita asked.

Spencer froze, only Derek knew the truth about his Mom. Although he and Louise had spoken openly about their families, he had merely said that his Mom didn't keep well and was therefore no longer working in her role as a college professor.

The others at the table continued eating until they realised that Spencer hadn't replied. Louise looked up, concerned. He looked sad and at a loss of what to say,

"Mum, Spencer's mum doesn't keep good health so I don't think she'll be able to come and visit." Louise touched Spencer's knee under the table, a reassuring touch to hopefully bring him back into the fold.

Surprisingly though he gripped her hand and held it tightly. She squeezed back and looked at him expectantly. He leaned forward,

"Yes Louise is right, my mum isn't well,"

Anita nodded, aware that maybe she should stop asking questions.

Spencer realised he was about to reveal something he hardly told anyone about, other than his old team, but he felt calm, supported, accepted, safe...

"My mum is a paranoid schizophrenic. I had her committed to a mental institution when I was 18 and she hasn't been able to leave since. I speak to her every few days and mostly she's lucid, but sometimes she has bad days." He finished with a crack in his voice. Louise squeezed his hand tighter. _How did she not know this?_ She felt terrible, but she hadn't wanted to pry about his mother's health.

Anita scraped her chair back from the table and came round to Spencer's place. She placed her arms round him and held him. He returned the hug awkwardly. The others smiled knowingly. Their mother hen adopting another chick, they knew the signs.

Anita patted Spencer's cheek and returned to her seat, observing on the way past her daughter's hand clutched in Spencer's. She had been right in her suspicions, these two were definitely more than neighbours, but how much she didn't know yet. She would just have to wait and see...


	19. Chapter 19 - Making plans

Chapter 19

 **A/N: I missed this chapter out completely by mistake! The story still flowed so one might argue it's not needed, but it contains information which sets up another important part of the story later on. So I've rearranged, deleted and re-uploaded so things are how they should be! Thank you all for reading.**

As the meal continued, Louise did her best to appear engaged in the conversation, but what Spencer had told them weighed heavily on her mind. She ran through their past conversations, desperately trying to remember if he'd said anything to give the slightest indication of the situation, but he'd kept the information very basic about his Mum.

She could feel him looking at her frequently and every so often she would squeeze his knee in reassurance under the table. If the others noticed, they gave no indication.

Louise helped Derek clear the table for dessert, just to give herself a bit of space. She busied herself loading the dishwasher while Derek fixed their last course. Once they were delving into apple pie and ice cream, Anita spoke,

"So sweetheart, how are the plans for the charity night coming along? 2 weeks to go!"

Spencer looked up with interest. This must be the fundraiser she had mentioned on their date, the one that was held in her ex's hotel.

"Yeah, good thanks Mum, still a few tickets left, but not many. Our table has two spaces left and there's the odd few spaces at other ones. The silent auction is all sorted as is the entertainment; the same band as last year. So just the decorations to do on the day really."

"Lovely, well I'll be down to help with that of course."

Louise nodded.

"Sorry again that I can't make it sis, work are really tightening up on the swapping shifts."

"It's fine jack, as long as you make a donation..." Louise winked at her brother.

"Yeah yeah I know the drill!"

"It's ok bro, I'll drink your share!" Derek laughed. "Or actually, Spencer, why don't you come along?"

Louise braced herself for the inevitable refusal, she knew her fundraiser would be well out of his comfort zone.

"Yeah that would be good. I don't know much about the charity, but anything that helps more people to read is a winner in my book."

Louise beamed at him. He was coming to her big night! Maybe he would be her date?

"And he who shall not be named won't be there?" Anita asked warily.

Louise sighed, "No mum, he knows the hotel is mine that night and he stayed away fine last year. It's still so good of him to let us use his business, it costs him a lot of money."

Anita sniffed, "I know he's a good man on paper Louise, but he still broke my baby's heart."

Louise rolled her eyes and focused on her plate. An uncomfortable silence rolled in.

Jack took the opportunity to find out more about Derek's renovations. Louise found the topic tedious, but was relieved to have a distraction.

After dinner was cleared, Anita and Jack headed to the living room with coffee. Derek tried to usher Louise through too, but she stayed and helped to finish clearing up. Spencer stood awkwardly in the doorway.

"I think I'll head home Morgan. Thanks...for tonight...thanks." He looked into Derek's dark eyes solemnly and Louise could sense the bond between them.

Derek hugged his friend, "Take care man, see you at work."

Spencer nodded and moved towards Louise, awkwardly kissing her on the cheek. "Goodnight Louise, good to see you again."

She nodded, "Goodnight".

As he and Derek left the kitchen, she focused on the dishes. The news about his mum was like the proverbial elephant. She didn't think they could move much further in their time together without talking about it, but maybe he wouldn't want to and where would that leave them?

She heard her mum and Jack bidding Spencer farewell and smiled at her mum's kind support of this new person in their little group. Maybe she'd ask her advice.


	20. Chapter 20 - Tea with Mum

Chapter 20

 **A/N: Apologies that this has taken longer than planned, but real life and running a business getting in the way of the writing joy. It's a bit of a filler chapter, but I'm hoping to get the next one up soon which will move things along a bit more. Thank you to everyone who is following or who has favourited this story, it means so much to me. Please continue to R &R, reading them is so lovely.  
**  
Later that night, Louise was getting ready for bed when Anita knocked on her bedroom door. She came in with a cup of tea and Louise recognised the signs of her Mum wanting to chat. She accepted the tea even though she's just brushed her teeth. She pulled her dressing gown round her as she perched on her bed, preparing for the usual round of motherly questions about her love life, working too hard etc. Anita leaned against the now closed door, Jack had gone to bed already, but she wanted to make sure it was just her and Louise,

"So sweetheart, how long have you and Spencer been seeing each other?"

Louise almost spat her tea out. _How did she know?!_

"I know you better than you know yourself dear," Anita answered Louise's silent question before she could even ask it properly.

Louise sighed and drank a little more tea,

"I should have known you'd figure it out!" She looked pointedly at Anita, "Would you believe we've only had one date?"

Anita raised her eyebrows, "Really? It seems more than that. He couldn't stop looking at you and then there was the holding hands under the table….."

Louise shook her head, "We've been chatting a lot since he moved here and he's been in the shop, but really he came to the tail end of my party and we went out for lunch yesterday."

"Did you know about his Mum? That was quite the admission."

"No, I mean I knew she was ill, but I didn't know how bad it was. I don't really know how to handle it, he obviously doesn't talk about it much, but now I feel like it's just kind of hanging there, not being talked about." Louise shrugged defeated.

Anita sat down by her daughter, placing an arm round her shoulders,

"Well it sounds to me like you need to go and start talking about it."

Louise nodded, "Ok I'll try and catch him tomorrow. We're actually supposed to have dinner tomorrow night, I thought it would be ok since you're meeting Auntie Eleanor."

Anita shook her head, "No I think you should go and speak to him now. It's only 10.30pm and his lights are still on." Louise looked shocked, "I checked." finished Anita.

"Mum I'm in my jammies!"

"You're decent, put some shoes on, it's only up the back stairs. Imagine how he's feeling just now. He's probably desperate to chat about it and if he's not, well you just come back down, get to bed and go to sleep."

Her Mum always had a way of making everything sound so logical and simple.

"Just take your phone and if you need anything, text and I'll be your emergency get out."

"Thanks Mum, I don't know what it is, but there's just this pull towards him...I just...I don't know," Louise finished, her words hanging in the air.

Anita hugged her, "You always were a sucker for a romance and lost causes! I'm just glad to see you moving on from Mr Hotel!"

Louise shook her head, "Mum!"

"I know I know, but I better never see that boy again!"

"Mum you can't make someone love me."

"I know that! Loving you wasn't the problem Louise, he was head over heels for you, anybody could see that. It's just a shame nobody taught him how to love without always getting his own way."

Anita kissed Louise on the forehead, "Goodnight my darling."

"Goodnight Mum...and thanks...for the advice."

"Any time lovey. And of course it's fine to go out tomorrow night, I don't know what state I'll be in once your Auntie opens the wine."

They hugged once more and Anita headed to bed.

Ten mins later, Louise stood at Spencer's back door. Still in her jammies and dressing gown, she had her Uggs on, phone in her pocket, wondering what the hell she was doing, even if her Mum had convinced her it was a good idea.

She knocked on the door and waited.


	21. Chapter 21 - Goodnight

Chapter 21

 **A/N: Just a wee warning that there is a bit of action towards the end of this chapter, but it's not explicit enough (I think) to warrant an M rating. However, proceed with caution if easily offended. Please R &R, thank you!**

Spencer lay on his sofa staring at the ceiling. He replayed the dinner conversation over and over in his head. _Should he have said anything?_ He'd heard nothing from Louise since he'd left Derek's and he knew she was home. Maybe she'd decided this was a deal breaker. He wasn't exactly a catch, he thought. _No sex and a crazy Mother, what girl would sign up for that?_ He squeezed his eyes shut and rubbed his hand over his face. He should really go to bed, but he doubted he would sleep. Maybe he'd just try and read, but he couldn't face that either. He'd been lying there for at least an hour when there was a knock at the back door. He sat up, checking his watch, 10.40 p.m. Maybe it was Jack wanting to do a landlord spot check, maybe he could just lie here and ignore it. The curtains were drawn right across the large window and patio doors so he could hide. Then whoever it was knocked again. He hoped it wasn't Louise coming to let him down gently. He reluctantly moved to the door and opened it.

There she was, her spotty dressing gown pulled round her, patterned jammie trousers and uggs sticking out under it. She looked serious and a bit scared.

"Hi," she said uncertainly, "sorry to bother you, I know it's late, I can come back-"

"No!" Spencer cut across her. If she was here, he wanted to hear what she had to say. "Come in, are you alright?"

She nodded as she squeezed past him. Her proximity made his senses swim, he just wanted to hold her and kiss her.

She stood awkwardly in the middle of the living room and he gestured to her to sit down. It seemed strange to her to be here now. The last time they'd sat like this was when she'd helped him unpack, but they'd sat separately. Now Spencer sat beside her and she resisted the urge to snuggle into his side.

"Um I-"

"Can I-"

They both spoke at once, then smiled,

"You go first." said Spencer. If she was giving him the brush off, he'd rather get it over with than make coffee and small talk before she did it.

"Um, well, I just wanted to come and chat to you….." she started. _Here it comes_ , he thought, "I wanted to check you're ok? I was a bit worried about you." _What?_ That's not what he expected.

"Worried? Why?"

"Just after you telling us that stuff about your Mum," Louise felt him tense beside her and she rushed on, "if you don't want to talk about it I understand, I'm not prying, I just thought maybe you did and my Mum said, well you know what Mums are like and well, oh God I didn't mean, sorry, I just, I'm sorry." She stopped and looked at her hands, "I think I might be making this worse."

"Hey, just breathe ok?" Spencer reached out and took her hand. "Thank you for worrying about me, it's nice to have someone to do that." He felt awkward admitting that so he continued to look at her hand that he was holding while he continued. "I don't tell many people, but tonight, it felt, like, safe I suppose. I wanted to be open and I thought if we are going to be…..um…..seeing…..each other, then I should be honest." He nodded and fell silent.

Louise moved towards him a little and placed her other hand on his cheek. He looked up surprised. She leaned in and kissed him very briefly,

"Thank you for telling me, us I mean, I'm glad we are all here for you. Mostly I just can't stop thinking about how awful it is that you had to do that at 18 and then I worry that you've been on your own with no family to support you since then. It just makes me ache a bit…..you're such an amazing person….." she trailed off, feeling the blush creep into her cheeks.

There was a silence for a few seconds and she worried she'd spoken out of turn. Spencer was processing what she'd just said. Far from running from this, she was engaging with him about it, worrying about him. He couldn't quite get to grips with this feeling, like excitement bubbling inside him.

The possibilities this girl could be offering him, then he couldn't stand it anymore. He pulled her to him and locked his mouth on hers. She groaned against his lips and fisted his hair in her hands, pulling him closer to her. It felt like there would never be close enough for either of them as they poured their emotions into the kiss. Spencer lay back, pulling her on top of him, sliding his hands down her body, pulling her groin flush with his. They both moaned at the contact as he held her tightly. She broke the kiss first, pressing her forehead to his, breathing heavily, eyes closed, then she smiled,

"What is it about us and sofas?"

He grinned and they both began to laugh, great racking giggles which broke down any remaining tension. She kissed him again, "I guess you see where I'm coming from," he nodded "so anytime you want to talk about it, I'm here." She laid a hand on his chest, "I want to know you."

He kissed her again, deeply this time, less frantic, but no less passionate. He broke away before things sped up again. He hugged her close and spoke quietly in her ear,

"Come to bed with me."

She drew in a breath sharply, "Spencer,"

"No agenda, I just want to hold you and sleep with you, but actually sleep, if you know, what, I uh….." he looked at her then.

She nodded and smiled, "I know. I also know that going to bed with you could lead somewhere so you need to say if it's too fast."

He nodded.

Louise stood up, "at least I'm already dressed for the occasion", she laughed.

Spencer stood up too, catching her round the waist, "You look stunning, even in a spotty robe! Come on."

He took her hand and led her through the far side door, across the small hall and into his bedroom, turning the lights off as he went. She stood in front of the bed,

"Do you have a side?" she asked awkwardly.

"Yes, I do. I like to sleep on the left side of the bed and I hope this is not going to lead to our first argument." he grinned cheekily.

Louise walked to the other side, "Well Dr. Reid it's a good job I sleep on the right side! Clearly it's meant to be!" She stopped, realising what she'd said, talk about pressure! _Meant to be?_ She cringed. Spencer was silent though and his breathing had changed. He came towards her, cupping her face and holding it close to his,

"I never realised how much you saying my name like that could turn me on," his voice was low, a growl almost.

Louise felt her insides twist, how were they just going to sleep? She slid her hands down to cup his ass, "Dr. Reid." she repeated his name. He was gone.

He pulled the duvet back, guiding her to sit down. He knelt to remove her boots and pushed her dressing gown off her shoulders. Sliding in beside her he kissed her gently at first, relishing the feel of her in his bed, wrapped around him, her hair fanned out on his pillows.

Things moved quickly and before long his hands were under her top, in her underwear and she was moaning as he brought her to a deeply satisfying climax. He kissed her through it, wordlessly connecting with her physically. When she'd regained her composure, she rolled them both onto their sides, facing each other. She moved her hand down to his trousers,

"Do you want to sleep?" she asked. They both knew what she was really asking.

"No I'm not tired yet," Spencer breathed then closed his eyes as her hand made contact. And after that he was lost to her. It was her turn to bring him the pleasure he'd given her and for the first time, Spencer found his release with the hand of another. Louise felt like a goddess, he'd trusted her and it had been such a special moment. Afterwards, he seemed embarrassed by the "mess", but she reassured him and the passion she felt shone in her eyes.

After he'd cleaned up, he came back to lie beside her, tucking her head under his chin as she curled up on his chest. They both wanted more of course, but they also felt like it was enough for tonight. An unspoken agreement between them as she reached up to kiss him again.

"Thank you Spencer."

"Thank you Louise."

They spoke almost reverently and in that moment, they both acknowledged to themselves that this might be something big. Louise had to bite her lip to stop herself from saying more, but it was safe to say (to herself), she was falling for this man, in a way she'd not quite experienced before. As she dropped off to sleep, Spencer lay listening to her breathing, is this love, he thought? He'd thought he was in love with Emily, but this was so different. He was a logical, scientific guy, emotions like these didn't make sense and yet here he was, feeling like he never wanted to let this girl go. He was, he realised, in love with her.


	22. Chapter 22 - Good morning

Chapter 22

3 a.m.

Louise awoke to the sound of her phone alarm buzzing quietly by the pillow. It took her a few seconds to remember where she was. As she took in her surroundings she became aware of the warm body cuddling into her as she lay on her right side and she smiled as she remembered. She shut off her phone alarm and turned to face Spencer. He was gorgeous when he was asleep, not that he wasn't when he was awake of course. She stroked his forehead and he smiled,

"Do you know that watching someone sleep is a red flag in profiling circles?"

"Mm I think it depends on who's doing the watching."

Spencer opened his eyes, "It's still dark, why are you awake?"

She held her phone up, "I set my alarm, I need to go back to my own bed, I have visitors remember. And as much as my mum likes you, I'd rather not do the walk of shame while she's sitting at my dining table!"

He pulled her towards him, nuzzling her neck sleepily, "Don't you want to stay?"

"Of course I do, but our timing sucks! Anyway, we still have dinner tonight, now go back to sleep."

She kissed him and he escalated it quickly, trying to keep her there a little longer. She moaned, but pulled away,

"Seriously I have to go and your tempting ways are making me want to stay."

"Good," Spencer replied defiantly.

"Goodnight Spencer." And with one last kiss she left.

Letting herself back into her house via the conservatory, she was relieved that nobody was up nor had they noticed she was AWOL for a few hours. She switched everything off and got into her bed. It was cold and she missed the warmth of Spencer lying next to her. It was a long time since she'd experienced that. She hadn't realised that she'd missed it until now.

-

1.00 p.m.

Louise was running late. She'd taken advantage of not having work in the morning, to have a lie in and breakfast with her Mum. Jack had headed out to catch up with friends. She'd taken her time getting ready, floating about somewhat, thinking of last night, but now she'd floated too much and she had less than an hour to get to the museum. Add to that her nerves, as this was only her third seminar like this and the numbers had doubled since the last time. She was stressed!

She'd awoken to a lovely message from Spencer wishing her luck and bemoaning his poor sleep quality once she'd left. She suspected he was just saying that to get her to stay more often, but she certainly didn't mind that prospect.

She got the last of her notes together, locked the door and ran out to the waiting taxi. Despite her nerves, she was excited too, not just about this promising career step, but about another date with Spencer. She shook her head smiling, what had happened to the independent woman she was?! Tying her emotions of the day to a boy? _Let's face it though_ , she thought, _what a boy he is._


	23. Chapter 23 - The lecture hall

Chapter 23

 **AN: Again there's a little bit of naughtiness nearer the end, but nothing explicit. There will be another few M chapters to go, but at the moment, I'm keeping it a bit more tame. Please R &R. **

**6.10 p.m.**

"So if there's no more questions, I'd like to thank you all for coming today, it's been a great session. Hope to see you again."

Applause rang out through the lecture theatre and Louise felt her chest swell with pride. She'd done it and everyone had seemed genuinely interested in what she had to say.

She packed her notes away, switching off the OHP, thanking those who filed past her. With each compliment she felt closer to bursting. After a few minutes, most people had left, leaving some stragglers chatting in little groups or checking their phones.

A quiet clapping sounded and Louise looked up in surprise to see Spencer coming down the stairs towards her. She smiled embarrassed,

"How long have you been here?"

"Just about half an hour, I sneaked in at the back. You were great, you're a natural. You certainly had them engaged."

Louise put her head in her hands,

"Oh my God I can't believe you were here listening! It must have sounded so stupid to you with your ten PhDs."

"Hey hey", Spencer placed his hands on her shoulders and kissed her forehead, "it didn't sound stupid at all! And it's three PhDs not ten."

"Like that makes a difference" she said cynically to the floor.

"You were amazing, I was really proud of you."

"You were?" She peeked up at him.

"Yeah, you're my girl-" he stopped suddenly, unsure of what to say next, "...these people came to hear you, but I get to go home with you. I was proud." He finished, blushing slightly.

Louise wrapped her arms round his waist,

"You do get to go home with me."

He nodded, "In some ways you reminded me of my Mom, when she was still lecturing I mean."

Louise drew back awkwardly, "I remind you of your mother? Well isn't that an Oedipal situation?" She wasn't quite sure what to do with that information.

Spencer realised what he'd said, "No no, I meant it in a good way. Like you have a great teaching way and you have similar ideas and you sound like her in a teacher way, God I'm just making this worse aren't I?"

"Yep," Louise felt sorry for him now. "It's ok, I get it...I think, but here's a tip, don't compare the girl you went to bed with last night to your mother, it's a bit of a passion killer."

"Understood," he nodded.

"Come on, let's go. I couldn't get a table until 7.30pm so do you want to go and grab a drink first?"

"Yeah I got your text that sounds good."

Louise gathered the rest of her stuff and they made their way to the exit of the now empty lecture hall.

As they reached the top of the stairs, Spencer hung back, looking at the room spread below them. Louise stopped, her hand on the door handle.

"You ok?"

"Yeah, there's just something about a room like this. The potential, what's been shared..."

"The knowledge-" they both spoke at the same time. Spencer looked incredulous,

"Yes! Wow, you really do get the same stuff as me don't you?"

Louise shrugged, "I guess I do," she seemed thoughtful.

"I'll tell you something else about lecture theatres..." Spencer came towards her, leaning into her space, closing the door and trapping her between it and him, "they're every college boys fantasy."

"What?!" Louise laughed, but she was enjoying his proximity to her.

Spencer smiled cheekily, "You know, hot professor," Spencer stroked her ass, "struggling student who'll do anything for an A, after hours in the lecture hall..."

"Spencer Reid! Are you speaking from experience?!"

"Um no, I was at college from 12-16, that would have been illegal and anyway, I was already a straight A student." He smiled to show he wasn't being big headed, "That doesn't mean I didn't crush on the hot professors and now here is one right in front of me."

"Far from a professor!"

"Let me have a bit of artistic licence in this Louise," he kissed her neck, nuzzling into her ear.

"Mm artistic licence, sure..."

He could do anything artistic if he kept pressing her up against the door like that, her head swam as his mouth found hers, kissing her fervently. He swept his tongue into her mouth, toying with hers as he rolled his hips into her. She groaned and wrapped her arms around his neck more tightly. Pulling on him, gaining leverage to grind herself against him again. He followed her lead, boldly cupping her ass and lifting her up so she could wrap her legs round his waist while he pinned her against the door.

Somewhere in her mind, she registered that they probably shouldn't be doing this. What if somebody walked in? How far would this go? However, those thoughts were swept aside as Spencer reached between them. As his fingers found what she needed, she broke off from the kiss, burying her face in his neck and groaning.

Suddenly, the door bumped behind her. Her eyes flew open and Spencer pulled back.

"Miss Dewar? You in there? I'm just checking you're alright?"

"Oh Bert, yes, I think the door's stuck! Hang on!" Louise called to the friendly caretaker who had come to check on her.

She slid down the front of Spencer's body, straightening her clothes as he held the door shut. She lifted his bag from the floor and he slung it over his body, holding it in front of him. After a few deep breaths, Louise experimentally locked and unlocked the door a few times before pulling it open.

Bert was on the other side looking concerned,

"I'm glad you got out Miss Dewar, I knew the door was sticking, but I didn't realise it was that bad. Thank goodness I came to check on you otherwise who knows how long you could have been in there?!"

"Oh I know thanks so much Bert, but don't worry, we'd literally just tried it before you came along. Too busy chatting!" Louise's voice sounded high and a bit panicked. "Thanks again!"

"No problems anytime," the older man smiled kindly.

Spencer pushed her slightly from behind, propelling her along the corridor. They both held it together until they got to the wide open foyer then they broke into a small run, tumbling out onto Chamber's Street, gasping with laughter. They stopped a little way along to try and compose themselves, Spencer leaning forward holding his side,

"Oh my God I can't breathe! That is possibly the most fun I've had ever!"

"Really? I thought it was terrifying!"

"It was exhilarating Miss Dewar," Spencer laughed again thinking of Bert's serious address to Louise. He slung his arm over her shoulders, pulling her into his body, "In a weird way I feel like I'm living my teenage years now, here, with you. So thank you." He beamed at her and she blushed.

"You're very welcome Dr. Reid. Now let's get a drink please I'm freezing!"


	24. Chapter 24 - Drinks

Chapter 24

 **AN: This is a long chapter, I didn't set out for it to be, but it just kind of ran away with itself. It's all about them getting to know each other better so I hope it doesn't drag on. I've taken major artistic licence regarding Spencer's job, I know very little about the FBI other than what I've read or seen in films and on TV so I know what I've written would likely never happen. It just fits my story though so I hope that's ok. The Edinburgh landmarks are real though, those I do know! Please R &R, I'm loving writing this story and it would be great if you could tell me if you like it. Thank you!**

They went to Revolution, the bar across from the museum. Spencer found a table towards the back while Louise fetched their drinks, gin and tonic for her and diet coke for him.

Once they were settled, Louise queried,

"It is ok for me to drink? I don't mind not, I just don't have the car tonight and my nerves are a bit frayed between my seminar and almost getting arrested for public indecency."

"I don't think Bert has the remit to enforce public decency laws." Spencer smirked.

"Ha ha," Louise said sarcastically, but smiling.

"It's fine for you to drink. I never had a problem with alcohol, I just prefer to be on the safe side."

"Do you mind me asking about it at all?"

"I'd rather not talk about what led to it, but anything after that is fine."

Normally Louise's interest would be piqued, but her gut told her she didn't want to hear the story of what led to his addiction. Derek had shared some stories in the past and they were the stuff of nightmares. The things their team had dealt with over the years, it was a wonder they weren't all in a padded cell.

"Of course," Louise nodded. "Do you avoid all pain killers? What do you do if you have a headache or a cold?"

"No I don't avoid them all, the usual ones are fine for headaches etc. Tylenol and Advil, you know?"

Louise looked puzzled,

"Oh Paracetemol and Ibuprofen I believe you call it here," he laughed.

"Mm, maybe we should get a U.S./UK dictionary."

"While we're at it maybe we could get a Scots one too, some of the phrases you guys use are really confusing."

"Well stick with me dear and I'll be your translator for that, but I bet within a few months you'll know more than me!"

Spencer reached across the table and took her hand,

"Why are you always so self-deprecating?" he asked her seriously.

"How do you mean?" Louise asked suspiciously, not sure she liked where this conversation might be heading.

"Well earlier, you dismissed how good I thought you were with your seminar. I could go into the psychology of it, but I've been told I go on too much," Spencer winked.

"Right there," Louise said, drawing her hand back nervously, "I don't think you realise how intimidating it is to be dating a genius. You know you seem to know pretty much everything about everything, your job in DC was life and death and here you're nurturing young minds, writing, contributing to research. I'm not sure me and my average IQ are enough for you." She squirmed uncomfortably as she said it. The idea had been resting on the fringes of her conscious mind since they got involved, but now she was giving voice to it, it seemed all too real.

Spencer looked genuinely shocked,

"I don't know what to say, really, I had no idea. I'm sorry if I've said or done anything to make you feel like that, I know I do get carried away-"

"No no" Louise interrupted, "don't apologise, please. It's nothing you've done on purpose. You're very modest and the fact that you're able to give me ten fun facts for every little thing is really interesting-."

"Yeah "interesting"", Spencer made quotation marks with his fingers and looked crestfallen.

"I mean it. It's just that...well...what if you get bored of me?"

Spencer looked incredulous, "I can't believe you would think that," he paused for a moment, "but let me address your points." He folded his arms on the table.

"First of all I don't think of myself as a genius, that's just a throw away label that people have used over the years and it can be a hindrance as much as a help," Louise nodded. She sensed now was not the time to interrupt him,

"Secondly I don't think anyone has ever described me as intimidating, in fact the school bullies I've encountered over the years would find a lot of humour in that statement.

Thirdly I definitely don't know everything about everything, in fact it is statistically impossible to achieve that. I agree that I have a wide knowledge of a wide range of subjects, I can't help the fact that my cognitive ability is high, but a lot of that has come from isolation and an abundance of free time. What else was I going to do except learn more stuff?

Your fourth point, yes my job was life and death and it damn near ended mine which is why I'm here. My job now is great and I hope I'm contributing, but more important to me now is that I'm enjoying my life, I'm happy and that has a lot to do with you.

And what's more, I don't have a standardised assessment to show me what your actual IQ is, but I suspect it's not average. Even if it was, that's on paper. In reality, you are incredibly interesting, successful, funny and accomplished not to mention the most beautiful, sexy, adorable woman I've ever met.

And lastly, if we're talking about intimidating, how about the fact that you've had boyfriends before me, you've had sex, I'm assuming a lot, your last boyfriend was a frigging hotel magnate, you own your own house, you have your own business and again I refer to the fact that you are completely stunning while I'm not winning any beauty contests. And bored? Like I said before, I'm having the best time ever and that's since I met you.

So yeah, that's my answer to your worries," he laid his hands flat on the table and took a shaky breath.

Louise sat dumbstruck. She was both shocked by what he'd said and how passionate he sounded. The more he spoke, the more intense he became,

"Well you certainly know how to make a point," she remarked.

"It has served me well over the years, especially when talking down certain homicidal suspects."

She took several mouthfuls of her drink, caught the barman's eye and signalled for another round.

"So..." Spencer looked concerned.

"So," she downed what was left of her drink. "I can't help feeling inadequate Spencer," he opened his mouth to speak and she raised a hand to indicate he should wait until she'd finished, "but, that said, I can see that we both have what we perceive as inadequacies that are actually just different life experiences."

"Exactly," he nodded

"So I will do my best to remember that. And the "lot of sex"? You make it sound like I've spent the last 16 years doing it non stop! It's likely I've had what most people would think was a normal amount of sex."

Spencer laughed at her indignation, "Ok I'll give you that."

"And who's being self deprecating now, I told you yesterday, you are gorgeous, whether you believe me or not." Spencer rolled his eyes. "And while we're being picky, I inherited both my house and my business."

Their drinks arrived then and Louise seemed thoughtful as she sipped this one more slowly.

"By the way, that tone of voice you used, the slightly kick ass attitude? You should use that on Morgan when he's being arsey."

Spencer looked questioning, "Dictionary?" he joked.

"Oh for goodness sake, awkward, mean, pissy, a complete pain in the butt!"

"Thank you." Spencer smirked.

Louise was silent, thinking. Spencer enquired,

"Are you giving me the silent treatment now?"

"No, just processing. That was a lot of points." Her mind was whirring.

"Can I ask you something without you thinking I'm being superior?"

She placed her glass on the table and folded her arms, "Ok".

"Why didn't you keep going after your masters? You're clearly excited by these seminars, I'm assuming you did some teaching while studying. If you enjoyed it why stop?"

Louise heaved a breath, "I'd just had enough of academia, simple as that."

"Except it's not that simple cos you're defensive and don't want to talk about it. Your body language tells me there's more to it."

Louise raised her eyebrows, "You're profiling me?"

"Can't help it!" Spencer smiled trying to diffuse the tension.

"Ok you win, I really had had enough of academia. My masters was the hardest thing I've ever done, it squeezed the creativity out of me or should I say drove it out of me. By the end of it I was on my knees and I just didn't want to do it anymore which was hard to accept cos I'm a planner! I had a plan, a path that I was on and suddenly I had to find a new path. Then my Grandpa died and here was this new opportunity to take over the business. And I grabbed it, but my mum had concerns. She thought I was giving up my studies so as not to let anybody down, she didn't want me to regret anything. I know now she was absolutely looking out for me, but it felt like she was disappointed that I didn't go on and do the PhD you know?"

Spencer nodded.

"Anyway I loved running the business, suddenly I was out there meeting lots of different people in the literature world, making decisions, learning things, but outwith a tutorial. I started writing bits and pieces of my own again. I got involved in some local literacy groups and I'm so proud of how the links from the book shop have grown and allowed me to set up the charity. I love to go and help in the programmes, it's bloody hard work, but so rewarding, that's the kind of teaching I really want to do not standing in front of 200 students who are clever enough to be there. And I don't mean to do that down, obviously," she waved a hand in Spencer's direction, "my teachers and lecturers enriched my life unimaginably, but it's not me."

"What about these seminars?"

Louise shrugged, "I just had this idea one day that maybe people who love to read would like to learn a bit more about the books they've read, kind of like a cliff notes workshop. Once you're out of uni, there's less opportunity to keep learning, life gets busy, I just thought the odd seminar might interest people and so far it has. And I really enjoy them."

"But you worry that people will think you're going back to academia when you're not. You worry that people think you didn't do your PhD because you weren't capable and you don't want them thinking this is your way of trying to make up for it."

Louise's mouth dropped open, "how...what are you psychic? Have you been speaking to my mother?" She accused.

Spencer held his hands up in defence, "I'm sorry, no, it's just there for me to see, I can read people remember."

"Well you're right ok? And I think I'd like to change the subject please. And before you ask, yes I am deflecting or avoiding or whatever you call it."

"Before we change the subject," Louise looked seriously pissed off now, but Spencer continued, "I think everything you've told me shows you're on the right path now, no matter how much you question yourself. You speak with passion, you love what you do and you're always moving forward. That to me is the right path."

Louise's expression softened, "Thank you. And I really didn't mean to sound like I don't value what you do, the students are lucky to have you."

This time it was Spencer's turn to squirm, "I have a confession to make,"

Louise looked wary,

"I only teach two classes a week."

"Does your research and writing take up the rest of the time? How is that possible, some nights you come back really late." She stopped, realising she had admitted to knowing his comings and goings, "Sorry, I've not been stalking you, I've just been aware of you shall we say."

"Don't worry, I've done the same!" They laughed. "No my research and writing are only a couple of days."

"What do you do the rest of the time?"

"I still work for the FBI."

Louise looked at him blankly, "I don't understand."

"Hotch (my old boss) wouldn't accept my resignation, thought it was a knee jerk reaction, a phase, but then he realised I was going no matter what so he went higher and got my superiors to agree to me working as an off site agent. They liaised with the university here and I was allowed to take the job on a sort of part time basis. If the team are slammed I consult with them via Skype etc., I mostly look at the linguistic profiling side of things. I'm not in the field though and that's better for me, for my sanity. Then if they don't need me I just pick up more duties at the university. They're able to be flexible thanks to the "donations" they receive from an unknown donor."

"You mean to tell me the FBI pay Edinburgh University to let you work for them?"

"No not all", Spencer smirked unconvincingly.

"Ok do I need to sign the official secrets act now you've told me this?"

"No, but I'm breaking about 6 non-disclosure agreements by telling you and I'll have to kill you now!"

"Right, well it's been an evening of surprises."

"And I haven't been bored once." Spencer winked at her.

"Good to know," she smiled and checked her watch, "we better go if we're going to get this table."

"I mean it, I don't believe in fate, but I do believe that I've ended up living beside the person I'm supposed to...um...be with." Spencer finished uncertain of Louise's reaction.

She stared at him for a moment,

"Do you want to go away this weekend?" She blurted out, "There's somewhere I'd love to show you."

Spencer grinned, "A weekend away? Are you sure?"

She nodded, "That's what people do when they're dating don't they?" She desperately wanted to discuss if he thought of them as boyfriend and girlfriend, but she didn't want to push it.

Spencer stood up and came round to stand beside her. He pulled her to her feet, holding both her hands tightly, "I guess they do. I'd love to." Then he kissed her, right in the middle of the bar, holding her tight, showing her how much he wanted her.

When he broke away she felt lightheaded,

"For someone with little experience, you can really bloody kiss."

Spencer ducked his head, embarrassed, but brimming with pride, "Just wait 'til later." he whispered in her ear.

She felt the familiar pull in her groin and she groaned. She couldn't wait.


	25. Chapter 25 - A date?

Chapter 25

They walked along Chambers Street hand in hand and Louise felt a sense of contentment. As they turned up onto George IV Bridge towards the restaurant, Spencer stopped for a moment, taking in the view towards the Royal Mile.

"You really do live in a beautiful place. The architecture, the history, all the tiny streets. It's quite a lot to take in."

Louise smiled,

"You live here too remember? And I'm glad you love it so much. I do too." She leaned up and kissed his cheek. "Now come on I'm starving." She pulled on his hand and after a moment they were pushing through the door of the Outsider restaurant.

The manager came forward to greet them,

"Ah Miss Dewar, so good to see you...ah and you bring a friend no?"

Louise smiled and embraced the man with outstretched arms,

"Hi Mani, good to see you too. Yes this is Spencer."

"Nice to meet you sir." Mani shook Spencer's hand, "Come this way, I have a table in the back."

They followed him through the large room filled with tables in every nook and cranny. The food smelled delicious and Spencer realised how hungry he was.

"Here we are." Mani gestured to a table by a small window through which they had a perfect view of the castle against the dusky sky. It was breathtaking.

"Wow," Spencer stared transfixed as Mani smiled knowingly at Louise. She'd explained when she made the booking that her dinner companion was new to the city and she hoped they'd get a table with a view. Mani had not let her down.

"I'll let you get settled and I'll be back to take your order."

They took their seats, Spencer getting used to the unfamiliar surroundings.

"So you know the staff well then?" Spencer enquired with a smile.

Louise laughed,

"Yes I'm something of a regular. It's so close to the shop and the food is amazing. Mani has been the manager for as long as I've been coming here and he always looks after me."

"He seems like a good guy."

Louise nodded,

"He is. Of course Derek somewhat hijacked this place! Loves it too and now treats it as his 'perfect second date restaurant'". Louise rolled her eyes.

Spencer looked thoughtful, "Aah so this is the place he was talking about yesterday during his 'tour'. He said he'd show me sometime. Looks like you've beaten him to it!"

"Yep! Do you know he's out for drinks with another fair maiden under the Morgan spell tonight?"

"Yes he said he was meeting someone. Wonder if he'll end up bringing her here for the next date!"

They took their time deciding what to have, nibbling on bread while they perused the menu. The conversation was easy; funny, flirty. Spencer held Louise's hand across the table and she looked forward to going home with him later.

Not long after their food arrived, Louise's phone rang, she checked the caller ID.

"Hi Derek,"

"Hey baby girl how was your seminar?"

"It was good, thank you."

"Great, sorry I couldn't make it along, but you know..."

"Yes dearie I know, your love life is a tight schedule."

Derek snorted, "Yeah usually, not tonight though, drinks finished early, turns out she wasn't really into it. Anyway, where you at babe?"

"I'm actually still out in town, I'm having dinner with Spencer."

A look crossed Spencer's face; confusion then panic. He mouthed, "Who is it?".

"Derek" she mouthed back. The man in question was still speaking,

"Oh cool, yeah Reid said he was going to try and catch the end of your gig, glad he made it, he can fill me in."

"Uh uh", Louise wondered where this was going.

"So um I'm still in town too, why don't I come and meet you guys? You can tell me where you think it all went wrong."

"Uhm, right...yeah...well we just got our food actually..." Louise's mind raced. She felt bad, but she didn't want to give up her date with Spencer for a mate's dinner.

"That's cool girl, I'll just slide in and nab whatever. You're at the outsider right?"

"Yes," Louise sighed "I know I'm predictable".

"Constant, honey, constant. I'll be with you in 10 mins."

"Ok, bye".

Louise hung up, "Well we're getting company", she rolled her eyes, "his date didn't work out. I'm sorry I didn't know what else to say."

Spencer shook his head, "No it's fine. No reason for him not to join us."

"Well, we are on a date."

"Yeah, but it's not like we can stop him coming along. We're all friends."

Something about the way Spencer said the word "friends" made Louise wary. Was Spencer still not going to let on about them? Her stomach churned, her previous contentment had disappeared, unease and worry replacing it.

They sat in silence for a moment before Spencer spoke to discuss a point from her seminar. She answered, but she was distracted. She felt like she was about to sit some kind of test; the "Does Spencer like me enough to openly date me?" test.

A few minutes later, by the front door, Mani greeted Derek warmly,

"Mr Morgan, I didn't expect to see you tonight."

"Lou's here right?" Derek asked puzzled.

"Well yes, but she is with a gentleman friend. I think they are, what would you say...on a date?"

Derek laughed heartily, slapping Mani on the arm,

"No no Mani, that's Spencer, he's just a friend of ours, ha ha, a date?! Good one."

Mani was confused, he had been serving couples dinner for many years now and he knew a romantic one when he saw it. Yet Mr Morgan was so convinced. _Mm maybe he was losing his touch_. He shook his head and pointed Derek in the direction of his friends.

"Hey guys, what's up?" Derek moved quickly across the room then hugged Louise warmly and shook Spencer's hand. He pulled up a spare chair and joined them.

Spencer smiled awkwardly and Louise didn't look too happy. _And Mani thought they were on a date!_ It looked to Derek like the conversation was far from flowing. He took the opportunity to try and lighten proceedings,

"You guys are gonna love this! When I came in just there, Mani told me you guys were on a date!" Derek laughed loudly, shaking his head, "Hilarious!"

Louise didn't move an inch, she felt frozen to the spot. Here was the test she was expecting. Her heart sank as the only response to Derek's comment was silence. Spencer was staring straight at him with a fixed smile which didn't reach his eyes. Finally Louise spoke,

"Well uhm, now you mention it-"

Spencer cut her off, "Yeah, weird huh, must have got the wrong idea." He looked Louise straight in the eye and she could tell he was silently pleading with her to let it go.

"I knew that couldn't be it! I have to admit though, you guys had me going for a minute there! Good bluffing!"

Louise pushed her plate away a little and sat back in her chair, she'd lost her appetite.

Derek leaned forward, "Are you gonna finish that honey?"

She shook her head, "No I'm not that hungry, help yourself." She handed the plate to him and he gratefully got stuck in.

Spencer was now studiously avoiding eye contact with her.

"Excuse me, I'm just going to the loo." She got up, taking her bag she made her way to the refuge of the toilets. Once she was in the cubicle she breathed out deeply. Spencer had done what she suspected he would and the disappointment hurt. After everything they'd talked about earlier and at the first challenge, he just jumped ship. She spent a few minutes fretting before deciding she was just very pissed off. She finished up, washed her hands and returned to the table, but she didn't sit down.

"Hey, I'm feeling a bit knackered and washed out so if it's ok with you guys I'm just going to head home." She put some money down to cover her part of the meal.

Spencer looked at her in panic, but Derek was oblivious,

"Are you sure? You want us to come with you?"

Louise shook her head, she pointedly only spoke to Derek, she didn't trust her resolve not to crumble if she looked at Spencer,

"No Derek honest, you guys stay, enjoy the rest of your night, catch you later."

With that she picked up her coat, gave them a little wave and she was gone.

Spencer wanted to run after her. He knew it would be the right thing to do, but he couldn't. He just didn't want to tell Derek yet. Or anyone really. He just wanted it to be the two of them without all the pressure and expectations of other people. How could he explain that without Louise feeling like he was rejecting her?

Outside, Louise caught a taxi easily and headed home. On the way she angrily wiped the silent tears away. This was too much. She was sick of playing games with a guy she'd only known a few weeks. Especially when they'd only just started out romantically. At least with Steve, there had been no mind games. Yes it ended in tears eventually, but she always knew where she stood with him. She resented Spencer for making her feel like this and she was unsure whether she was willing to carry on if this was how it was going to be.


	26. Chapter 26 - A decision

Chapter 26

 **A/N: I'm afraid Louise is being a bit mean in this chapter, but she's lashing out after her feelings were hurt. I know there's a lot of angst just now, but I am generally a HAE person so hopefully they'll find their way. Please R &R, I'd be so grateful.**

10.00 p.m.

Spencer got out of the taxi, bid Morgan farewell and headed straight for Louise's door. He knew he was making a mess of this, but he wasn't sure he could fix it the way she wanted.

He rang the bell nervously. No answer. He rang again. The door swung open and there stood Jack.

"Hey Spencer, you ok?"

Spencer was totally thrown, he had forgotten that Jack would likely be there.

"Uh hi...yeah...um is...is Louise home?"

"Sure, I think she's in her office, come in. Is everything ok?" Jack held the door open to let Spencer past.

"Uh yeah yeah, we just um, we had dinner with Morgan and she left earlier and she left um her bank card." Spencer prayed that Jack didn't offer to take it for her.

"Oh right, she's doing some work I think, told me she didn't want to be disturbed!" Jack rolled his eyes. "Our Mum is out with our Auntie so that means it's wine o'clock! I'm heading out for a beer with a few mates, let Louise deal with the drunk Mum! Hey d'you want to come with us? It's just the pub on the prom there."

"Thanks Jack, that's really kind" Spencer cleared his throat nervously, "but no, school night and all." he shrugged apologetically.

"No worries mate, another time. Listen can you just let Lou know I've gone? I'll just head now."

"Sure yeah, bye."

"Bye."

Jack left and Spencer stared at the closed door. _Ok, time to face the music_. He wasn't sure if Louise even knew he was in her house.

He walked through to her office nervously. There was some fairly loud music coming from inside. He knocked loudly so she would hear. Her voice floated through the door,

"What? Jack, I said, I'm in the middle of something."

"It's not Jack." Spencer called out.

Silence.

"Can I come in?"

Silence.

"Ok I'm coming in, you can throw me out after if you want."

Spencer pushed open her door and peered round it. Louise was sitting on the sofa which was placed along one wall. She was wrapped in a blanket, mug in hand, scrolling on her iPad. The room was gently lit by two lamps and there was a warm comforting smell coming from three candles burning in the fire place. She looked up as he came in,

"When someone doesn't reply to your knocking it usually means go away, not come in anyway."

She was mad, he could tell and he couldn't blame her either.

"Listen I'm sorry, can we talk about this?"

"Oh now you want to talk? That's funny cos you were doing a brilliant job of shutting up when Derek was talking earlier." She hated how whiny she sounded, how needy and naggy.

"Please just hear me out."

She switched off the music, locked the iPad, set it aside and gestured for him to sit on her desk chair. He gratefully accepted.

"It's hard to explain..."

"What? That you're ashamed of me? That you don't want people to know we're dating? That I'm your dirty little secret?"

"No! No, none of those things. I just...I don't know how to do this-"

"What? Behave like a human being? You're pretty smart from what I hear, I'm sure you could figure it out if you wanted-"

"Stop!"

Louise looked away guiltily.

"I get that you're mad and you've every right to be, but at least let me explain."

"Ok." she said.

"I told you before that I didn't want to tell Morgan because he'd give me a hard time, but it's not just that. Before Morgan moved back here he used to talk about "the one that got away". This girl who he thought was "the one". He only ever mentioned her when he was drunk or was feeling down about life. I didn't give it much thought, but when I moved here and met you, I realised it's you."

Louise shook her head vehemently,

"No Spencer I told you already, we dated when we were kids, no great love story."

"Maybe not for you."

She continued to shake her head, but he carried on,

"Anyway, I don't want to bring all that up with him until I know what's happening with us. What if I told him and three weeks later we decided it wasn't working and I'd potentially caused my best friend heartache for nothing.

Then there's Emily..."

Louise looked puzzled,

"I'm sorry Spencer, but I don't understand that either. She's dead, how can people knowing about us be affected by her?"

"I was in love with her for a really long time, well I thought I was in love with her, now I don't know. It's all mixed up in my head. See this is why I like science and maths, the facts are quantifiable. Feelings are just so messy, hard to figure out."

Louise remained silent.

"I've seen what happens when people start dating, their friends get involved, everyone has an opinion, they ask personal questions, there's expectations, I'm just...not ready...for all that."

Louise took a deep breath, let it out and spoke calmly,

"Ok, we need to slow things down then. The last few days have been intense, amazing, but intense. Let's spend some more time getting to know each other before we get carried away with it all. We'll keep it between us _for now_ ," she emphasised the last two words.

Spencer nodded,

"Thank you, thank you for understanding."

"To be honest I'm not sure I do understand, but I'm willing to give you some time to figure things out."

Spencer came towards her, kneeling on the floor in front of her. He took her hand and kissed it then moved to kiss her lips, but she turned away,

"No, I think we need to slow down the physical side of our relationship too."

Spencer looked confused,

"Are you withholding that as a punishment for me not wanting to tell people?!"

"No! Of course not. I'm pissed off that you don't want to tell people, but I want to give us a chance so as I said we'll keep it between ourselves for now.

"But I'm protecting myself, and you for that matter. Until you're ready to be open about us, I can't feel comfortable about being with you…..physically. It would be like the popular guy secretly shagging the class geek because he really likes her, but being afraid what his mates think so he pretends he doesn't even know her and-"

"The slight flaw in that analogy is that I'm the class geek and you're the popular one."

Louise sighed,

"You know what I mean Spencer. Look, I've only ever slept with people I've been in relationships with. I wish I could be more of a fling kind of girl, it would probably be lots of fun, but I can't separate the emotional stuff from the physical stuff. So until we are at the stage where we know we are in a relationship, I think we should keep it strictly PG."

"So you're saying you won't sleep with me until I tell people we're together."

"That's a bit of an over-simplification, but yes I suppose that is what I'm saying. To me, if you want to be with someone, you're all in. You want to tell the world, 'guess what she's with me!' Until you feel like that then it wouldn't be right to go any further. And you know, maybe you'll never feel like that, then we'll know it wasn't meant to be and you'll be glad we didn't complicate things by having sex."

Spencer sat down properly on the floor now, still holding her hand. He looked thoughtful as he processed what she'd said.

"So, PG-13 then?"

Louise shook her head, "No, PG. PG-13 is a US rating. Here we have PG and then 12 is a separate rating so consider yourself firmly in the just above Disney category." She smiled though she was still upset.

"Ok. Hopefully we can talk about it more this weekend. Get to know each other better like you say."

Louise drew her hand back, wrapping her arms round herself,

"I don't think we should go away this weekend."

Spencer looked up sharply, disappointment written on his face,

"What? Why?"

"Because, Spencer, while I might be spouting all of this resolve now, if we go away together, away from real life and people who know us, I'm going to get sucked into the bubble again. And as much as I believe what I'm saying, all you have to do is kiss me and I turn into a puddle on the floor. You and I both know what would happen with us in a hotel room and then I'm just the girl who had sex with the guy who won't tell people he's with her."

Spencer sighed heavily,

"How far away is the place you wanted to go to?"

"About an hour and a half's drive, why?"

"Well it's not that far, why don't we just go and come back in the same day? You can drive there since you want it to be a surprise and I can drive back. What do you say? I mean, the only way to get to know each other better is to spend more time together. Please, let's just go and spend the day together."

Louise was still feeling uneasy, but Spencer's suggestion made a lot of sense and she really did want to take him to this place.

"Ok, let's go for the day."

He kissed her hand once more,

"Thank you."


	27. Chapter 27 - Goodnight kiss

Chapter 27

Louise was showing Spencer to the door when she heard singing outside. Puzzled, she opened the door to find her Mum swaying along the driveway belting out "California dreaming".

"Mum! I have neighbours! Where is Auntie Eleanor?"

"Ooh hellooo my darlings! That very nice taxi man said he'd see her to her door. What a lovely night we've had. And we were just having a wee sing song on the way home. Spencer!" Anita exclaimed as if just noticing him for the first time, "California dreaming right enough eh?" She nudged him and laughed.

Spencer smiled, "Actually Anita I'm from Vegas, Nevada remember? Next state over!"

"Well it's close enough." she giggled.

Louise rolled her eyes, "Right Mum in you go. I'll make some tea."

"Goooodniiiiight Spencer" Anita called, "Don't mind me if you want to have a wee goodnight kiss..." her voice faded as she moved further through the house.

"God how embarrassing! When one's Mother becomes the dirty stop out!"

Spencer laughed, "I've never met anyone quite like your Mom, I like her a lot. So...um I guess she knows...about us I mean?"

"Yes she figured it out within about 20 mins of meeting you. Don't worry she'll be discreet, barring the last 5 minutes obviously. Jack is oblivious so we're ok."

"So can I...?"

"What?"

Spencer moved closer, "Have a goodnight kiss."

Louise was determined to make her point. She reached up and laid her hand on his cheek. He leant into her touch, but she simply kissed his other cheek, "Goodnight Spencer."

He was still standing there after she closed her door. He supposed it could have gone a lot worse, but he figured he had plenty to work through to get to where he wanted to be.

He sighed and made his way inside, suddenly exhausted.


	28. Chapter 28 - Spencer's office

Chapter 28

Tuesday morning

When Spencer arrived at work the next day he was still preoccupied with the previous night's events. He hadn't slept that well and felt uneasy about how things were between him and Louise. He'd hoped to see her in the morning as he knew she was off work for her Mum and Jack's last full day. He'd even come down the back stairs, a route which took him past her conservatory and kitchen, a fact he acknowledged was a bit obsessive, but there were no signs of life. They were likely having a lie in and in Anita's case, a hangover!

He walked into the large open plan office off of which was his own private room. He thought he would get some coffee and catch up with work in the open space first. Penelope was already there, sitting at her desk looking impatient while the IT guy fiddled about at the back of her computer. She rolled her eyes when she saw Spencer inclining her head towards him,

"Morning Reid, have you met Rory?" She said a little too brightly.

Rory looked up,

"Alright mate, think we met last week, I'm quite new, just finding my way round."

"Yes round my computer!" Penelope said tetchily, "I already told you I am perfectly capable of fixing this myself. My IT wizardry would make your hair stand on end! I was a hacker you know!"

An uncomfortable silence followed while Penelope's hand flew to her mouth,

"Oh my God I'm not supposed to talk about that! Please forget I said that!"

Rory looked amused,

"Don't worry Miss Garcia, your secret is safe with me. I know you could do this yourself, but it's university procedure and it gives me a chance to get out of my own office."

Penelope relaxed a little as Rory smiled at her.

"Can I get you a coffee?" Spencer asked.

"No thanks Dr. Reid, I'm almost done here."

As Spencer busied himself at the kettle, Morgan strolled in.

"Hey people, what's new?" He hung up his leather jacket and removed his shades. "Hey Rory, my man how are you?"

"Good Derek thanks. Will we see you at training on Thursday?"

"You know it!"

Penelope rolled her eyes for a second time. Sports of any kind bored her in fact she wasn't that fond of exercise in any form. Derek's perpetual gym sessions plus basketball training sounded so tedious.

"Reid, got one for me there?"

Spencer held up a cup to show that he had made coffee for Derek too. As he made his way back to his desk, depositing hot drinks as he went, Rory stood up,

"That's it done Miss Garcia, thanks for putting up with me. See you again."

Penelope smiled and blushed a little as Rory gave her a wave and headed out,

"Yeah, um thanks, maybe see you again."

Spencer was opening his emails when Derek piped up,

"Guys I think I'm gonna have a party on Saturday night. A sort of housewarming, catch up kind of thing. You in?"

Spencer and Penelope nodded and made noises of agreement. Spencer was mentally working out if he and Louise would be back in time from their day out, but he figured they would make it work. Derek continued,

"I think I'll ask Rory too. He's a good guy."

"Oh yeah that's a good idea," Penelope said nonchalantly though Reid detected a change in her demeanour. She seemed more excited at the prospect than she was letting on.

"Yeah I'm full of them baby girl." Derek smiled widely, "And another one I've had is I'm gonna set Rory up with Louise!"

"What?" Penelope sounded dismayed as Spencer choked on his coffee.

"What makes you think Louise would want to be set up?" Spencer enquired, trying to affect an air of only slight interest while inside he was panicking.

"I don't know she just seemed really down last night. She's not really seen anybody since Steve and with her fundraiser coming up next week, it would be good for her to have a date for it."

" _We're_ all going" offered Spencer.

"Yeah, but we're not exactly her dates are we?" Derek snorted with laughter, "Unless you listen to Mani last night!"

"Mm mm", Spencer agreed in what he hoped was a non-committal way and returned to his emails. Penelope sat at her screen looking crestfallen.

Spencer was surprised she'd let slip about her hacking background. Spencer didn't know much, but from what he'd heard, she was so good that instead of arresting her, the government offered her a job. She was now in a similar set up to him. Working on sensitive cases within the confines of the university while providing tech support for the department. It was clear to him that she had a something of a fancy for Rory though it seemed to have escaped Derek.

He was totally thrown by Derek's willingness to set Louise up with anyone. He really thought that Louise being single suited Derek. Spencer imagined that one day he'd just get sick of all the lothario stuff, turn to the single Louise and sweep her off her feet.

He shook his head, since things with Louise had picked up speed, his productivity level at work had dropped and he felt guilty.

Still he couldn't shake his unease about Derek's potential match making. It's not like Louise could say she wasn't interested. Derek would want to know why and she'd promised Spencer she wouldn't say anything about them. After a few more minutes fretting, Spencer picked up his phone and typed out a text,

 _Morning Louise, hope you're well. Hope Anita doesn't have too sore a head. Just a heads up, Derek is having a house warming party on Saturday night and he's planning to set you up with our IT guy. Have a good day. Xx_

A few minutes later she replied,

 _Hi Spencer, my Mum is suffering, but isn't getting much sympathy. We're going out for lunch later and to do some shopping. We'll go to the cinema after to keep Jack's face straight, he's not happy about shopping!_

 _A party sounds good, we should manage back in time. I'm a bit confused though. Which IT guy? Why does Derek think I need set up? Is this going to involve me having to let down some random guy I've never even met?! Xxxx_

They texted back and forth a bit more before Spencer had to commit to actually doing some work. He felt a bit better having been in touch with Louise though. She didn't seem interested in this IT guy so that reassured him.

He was starting to get quite excited about the day trip on Saturday. During his lunch he carried out a geographical profile showing all the possible areas on the map they could be heading to that were within a 90 minute drive. She had said they were going down south so that narrowed it a little. In the end he had to settle for waiting and thinking through the possibilities.

More than anything though he just wanted to see her again, hold her, kiss her. He wondered how much he would get to touch her in the next few weeks. She seemed set on the new plan of nothing physical until they knew where they were emotionally. He ached when he thought of holding her in his bed on Sunday night. Was it only 36 hours? It seemed so long ago.


	29. Chapter 29 - Pizza

Chapter 29

Wednesday afternoon

Louise waved goodbye as Jack's car reversed out of the driveway. It had been good to catch up with her family and had been an especially good distraction from everything that was going on with Spencer.

She had confided in her Mum on Tuesday night and Anita agreed she was best to let him work out his issues and to give him time, _but not too much time_ , she warned.

She would miss her Mum, but was looking forward to having her back in just over a week for the fundraiser and she was quite glad to get her house back to herself. She was behind in paperwork, both work and charity so she planned to spend the afternoon catching up.

She had been working away for a couple of hours when an email appeared.

From: MACKIE, Stephen

Subject: Fundraiser Ball

Her stomach dropped. An email. From Steve. They'd had very little contact in the 18 months since the split, something he had been reluctant to follow through on, but upon which she had insisted. She had to keep him away in order to get through it. Even during last year's ball, he had allowed his hotel manager to handle everything and had stayed away from the event. She hoped he wasn't planning to change that this year. With a racing heart she opened the email.

 _Hello Louise,_

 _Long time no see/speak. I hope you're well. It's still strange not being in touch with you. I know you wanted to keep it that way, but I'm still around if you ever want to talk._

 _Anyway I've just had a conference call with Heidi and she tells me everything is set for next Saturday so I wanted to wish you all the best for the night. I'm so proud of the work you do for the charity. What else can I say?_

 _Best always_

 _Steve_

She sat back and sighed. He was polite, respectful, kind. A good guy, like she had told her Mum. She just hadn't been enough for him and that hurt, a lot.

And now she wondered if she was enough for Spencer either. Maybe she just made bad choices when it came to men.

She wanted to speak to Spencer, she missed him. They hadn't seen each other since Monday night, though they had texted a few times. She admitted to herself she had been avoiding him. She was still smarting from his rejection. No matter what he said, she felt that's what it was. However, now she was having a bad day, she wanted to see him, spend time with him. Her heart was betraying her head.

She picked up her phone to text him, but phoned Jo instead.

Jo was a close friend as well as an employee and incredibly practical. Talking to her always helped Louise see things more clearly. Her main piece of advice was the one Louise went with,

"Why don't you want to text him?"

"I'm pushing him away cos he pushed me away."

"So you're punishing him?"

"I suppose."

"But you want to speak to him?"

"Yes."

"Then who are you really punishing?"

"Me I guess."

"Exactly. Lou, just text the man, you're allowed to have some fun. Just get him round and chill out."

So she did, but she went one better.

"Hi Louise, how are you?"

"Hey Spencer, I'm pretty rubbish actually. I'm having a bad day and I'm going to stay in tonight in my Jammies and order pizza."

"Ok..."

"Want to eat pizza in your Jammies with me?"

Spencer chuckled, "I'll be there."

Louise felt calmer than she had since she said goodbye to him on Monday.

 **7.00 p.m.**

Louise was pottering in the kitchen when she heard a knock at the conservatory door. She made her way through and smiled when she saw Spencer standing there, true to his word in his pyjamas. She opened the door, leaning on it playfully,

"Hi," she said shyly.

"Hey, is this suitable attire?."

She looked him up and down. He wore tartan lounge trousers, fluffy socks under his converse and a well worn hoodie with MIT emblazoned across the front.

"I reckon so." She laughed, "Come in".

As he passed her, he dropped a kiss on her cheek. She appreciated the gesture especially as he didn't try to push that any further.

"Can I get you a drink? Juice? Water?"

"Juice would be good thanks."

"Diet coke ok?"

Spencer seemed puzzled, then Louise clicked, she laughed, leaning into the fridge.

"Soda." She held up a can of coke. "Fruit juice." she held up a carton of orange juice.

Spencer laughed and shook his head, "Fruit juice then please. There's that translation issue again."

She looked out the pizza menu and they got comfy in the living room.

"It's quite warm actually," she said taking her hoodie off, "maybe summer is on the way after all."

Spencer laughed,

"What?!" She asked indignantly.

He pointed to her t-shirt with the words "Soft kitty Warm kitty" on the front. She looked down,

"Oh yeah, I love Big Bang."

He unzipped his MIT hoodie to reveal a similar t-shirt with Bazinga across the front.

They both laughed then and she felt any tension between them melt away.

"I've been likened to Sheldon you know?" Spencer said ruefully.

"Why because you're incredibly intelligent and have an eidetic memory."

"Yeah, that and the emotional difficulties and not knowing when to shut up with the facts" he shrugged.

Louise rubbed his shoulder affectionately,

"The emotional difficulties? That's because of your family situation. And the not knowing when to shut up? I come from a family of those, although it's not useful facts it's just non-stop blethering!"

Spencer leaned his cheek against her hand on his shoulder. It was such a simple gesture and she felt her heart opening a little more. She hugged him and he held her tightly back.

"Right", she said pulling away after a few seconds, "let's order pizza."

It took them 25 mins to finally agree on the order, a fact which her stomach was not happy about.

"I'm very picky about my pizza," Spencer said apologetically.

"As am I, but I've never met someone as bad as me and I'm thinking the two of us together make for a long wait!"

Once they'd finally ordered, Louise scooted back on the large sofa, resting her head on a cushion.

Spencer turned to face her, snuggling into the throw.

"Do you wanna tell me why your day was so bad?" he brushed her hand with his outstretched fingers.

"Well, I had an email..."

"Ok?"

"It was from Steve." She looked down.

"Steve? Your ex Steve?" Spencer sounded concerned.

"Yes."

"And what did he want?" Spencer was trying to control the rising panic in his stomach.

"Just to wish me luck for the ball next Saturday. Told me he's around if I want to talk." She shrugged.

"And do you? Want to talk to him I mean?"

She shook her head, "No, I told you I broke all, but necessary contact. It's just sad, how it all turned out. It would have been good to be friends."

"Maybe you will one day." Spencer was trying to be fair, measured and not act like a jealous idiot.

"Maybe."

"Will he be there? At the ball?" Spencer was praying this wasn't going to be an old flame catch up that he would have to witness.

"No no. He didn't come last year either. I told you he's a good guy."

Spencer felt uneasy at Louise's defending of her ex partner. It showed a depth of character that was admirable, but he couldn't help feeling like Steve didn't deserve it. Of course had he not left her, Spencer wouldn't have had the chance to get to know her as he was now. He also felt guilty that he wasn't treating her much better than Steve. He hadn't left her, but he was struggling with the intricacies of a relationship.

The silence stretched between them, both thoughtful. Eventually Louise broke it,

"So what about this IT guy Derek wants to set me up with?" She teased, but Spencer felt it was yet another guy to worry about.

He sighed, "He's called Rory, he was fixing Penelope's computer the other day-"

"What?! And she let him?!"

Spencer laughed, "Yeah it was awkward to say the least. I suspect that she quite likes him though. Derek doesn't seem to have noticed and now he thinks you and he would hit it off."

"And I'm assuming you didn't correct him?" She asked gently, trying not to sound accusatory.

"No, you know..." Spencer trailed off.

"It's ok, I do know." She patted his hand.

"Will we make Derek's party on Saturday?"

"I think so, I've booked an early dinner so we should get to his by 8.30pm."

"Cool."

"Ready to fight off the IT guy advances." She smiled playfully.

"The flaw in that plan being that Rory doesn't know he's supposed to be advancing on you."

They both laughed, things between them relaxed again.

Once the pizza arrived they settled to watch some TV, nothing specific, just some light hearted comedy.

"This pizza is really good," said Spencer.

"Yeah, worth the long debate," Louise laughed.

"Mm yeah, it reminds me of one I used to get back home, in DC I mean," he clarified.

"Really? Was it a restaurant?"

"Yeah I used to go all the time with Em-" he stopped short, unsure where to look.

"Spencer it's ok to talk about her."

He shook his head slightly. Louise sat up a little straighter,

"Tell me about Emily." she encouraged him gently.

"Don't you mind?"

"No, I told you, I want to know you. And she is part of you and your story."

"Ok...if anything bothers you, will you say."

"Yes."

"Um I don't really know where to start."

"When did you first meet her?"

"Just when she joined the team. Hotch wasn't that keen to have her to begin with. He thought she was a mole to spy on us, but she proved herself quickly and she was extremely good at her job. She'd travelled a lot because her Mother was a diplomat. It meant she had an affinity for languages so we had a lot in common. We used to go and see foreign language movies and try not to read the subtitles, stuff like that. The others thought we were crazy." Spencer smiled at the memory.

"Did you ever ask her out?"

"No! Um...no."

"Did you ever think about trying to ask her out?"

"All the time. Especially on the way back on the jet. We'd all be tired and cranky. Usually emotional from whatever case we'd been on. People would chill out anyway they could; sleep, music, books, board games, all that stuff, but there'd always be a calm. We'd all just be closer, quieter. So many times she'd be sleeping in the seat next to me or we'd be chatting in the dim light and I'd think I'm gonna do this. Then I'd open my mouth and I wouldn't." He looked dejected.

"If you were still there, if Emily was still alive, do you think you would have done it by now? Like telling her how you feel...um felt?"

"No I don't."

Louise was shocked by his direct response. She didn't know what to say, but Spencer continued,

"It's terrible to say, but her death was the wake up call I needed. If she'd still been alive I'm pretty sure I'd still be wandering around full of unrequited love, thinking "someday one day'".

"How did she die?"

"During a case, I can't really talk about it, but it involved her ex-partner. He killed her during a fight and he's not been seen since. The team are still actively looking for him, but he's gone to ground and who knows if they'll ever find him. At least Emily's safe from him now."

"That's true, but I'm so sorry Spencer. Even though it meant I got to meet you, I'm so terribly sorry you lost her."

"Me too." He sighed and squeezed her hand. "When I met you though I knew I had to be a bit braver. I realise I'm still working on that, but at least I've told you how I feel."

Louise gripped his hand in hers,

"Thank you for telling me and about Emily too."

She moved closer to him on the sofa, snuggling into his chest. He wrapped his arms around her and they enjoyed just being there together, each with their own thoughts.


End file.
